OK, try this one out, re Timberwolf aka Benji:
– Our dog, Benji, died this afternoon.
– Comey decrees the "dog's" death.
– Because he was a rescue, we didn’t know his age today, except 'very old.'
– because he isn't dead at the time of this tweet, he can't know exactly how old he is.
– He was a friend to an entire big family as only a dog can be.
– beloved by the clowns
– Goodbye old soul.
– but tough luck, your time's up.