Nice write up, but your conclusions are bullshit.
Do you understand why the upheaval is violent?
When someone is an abusive relationship with abuser, one doesn't "Wake everyone up. Bit by bit. "
One exits the relationship as forcefully as possible, less they be pulled back into their co-dependant, enabling role that they have probably already done several times in their previous attempts to escape the relationship "bit by bit"
Does it need to be a literally violent revolution again? No.
But the waking up process absolutely DOES need to violent and somewhat traumatizing for it to be successful.
This is why the "current plan" sucks and will One doesn't "ease" out of an abusive relationship. ever. One quickly packs one's belongings and exits decisively without ever looking back.