Good MONEY must be: durable, portable, uniform, limited in supply, divisible, fungible and acceptable.
None of the things you listed, other than gold, meet all the criteria.
>An orange could just as easily become 'money' by the definition of money.
Not by the definition I gave.
Not durable, uniform, limited, divisible, or fungible.
Durable: It would eventually break - definitely less durable than paper bills.
Uniform: all the orange pieces would have to be exactly the same size at various levels.
limited in supply: what if I plant a bunch of orange trees? I would be minting money in my backyard. Massive inflation!
fungible: every dried orange piece would have to be interchangeable with another
The reason gold works is because it meets these qualities better than anything else.
Even the yearly output is in line with typical economic growth so inflation would be less of an issue.