Today, my boss approached me as I sat at my desk with my feet kicked up, watching youtube videos on my computer.
He said, "Hey, I just got through reviewing our metric-reports and I can't see that you have completed any work in the past year. What's going on?"
I replied, "Lurk moar, faggot… Sixty-forty! You don't see everything I do. Also, I told you months ago to 'TRUST ME'. They didn't call me the 'Silent-Worker' at my last job for nothing!"
My boss just stared at me for a moment before saying, "I don't know who the hell you think you are, but you're up for review… What's your name, slacker?"
To which I replied, "Sessions…. My name is Jeff Sessions."