He perhaps should have said that '2.2 million [people] attempted access".
'Data' is plural. 'Datum' is the singular form.
The reason for this is that access as a noun is normally used to mean the permission or ability to access (verb). When you hear or read "…each access…" the word is indeed being used as a noun in that way, but only after the verb form is converted. Taking that and making it plural… would be technically acceptable… But it would be awkward for a native speaker.
The human mind, like milk, has a Best Before date. If Tesla ever claimed anything like this it would have been from his later years when he would spend his days feeding pigeons in parks and yelling at children.
*of his
This is the wrong crowd if you want us to see #1 as funny.
I hope Trump shows up at the next press conference wearing this watch.