I was just feeling sorry for myself when I read this, thank you for sharing. The river runs deep anon, it gets even worse than what you went through. I will say a prayer for you and for the people under the control of these sick fcks.
I feel you on the bitter part. Can’t believe what the world around me turned out to be. And I’m still unpacking it all.
Have you been to source yet? Or to the blankness? Or whatever it is called… uncannily familiar to what I recently began to go through. It’s stages anon. I’m not enjoying the one I’m on right now but I know I’m growing and becoming stronger. Preparing for battle. Pray anon. Pray often and pray hard.
I do this with license plates numbers. Have for as long as I can remember. I manipulate them in whatever way I can in order to make symmetrical use of them in my head somehow.