You know the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and getting the same negative results? You are wasting your time. If you are in danger of doing harm to yourself or others , you might want to check into the hospital.
If it is fear of your fate will be, or desperation that is the cause of your insanity, it still will be much better for you if you turn yourself in.
Do you understand where this is heading?