Eulogy – For The Death of Common Sense
I want to thank you all for being here Today. I really wished there were more people here today to show their respects, but I guess that not everyone was notified of his official death.
It has been than more than 10 years since Common Sense was first reported lost and missing by some of his family and friends. Based upon legal motions and petitions filed by the ACLU, SPLC, and DNC, Government officials were forced to officially declare Common Sense dead, because no one had seen Common Sense within the last 10 years.
No one knows for sure how old Common Sense was or where he was born, because he never spoke about himself or his past. Common Sense did not dwell in the past, but was more interested in dealing with the problems of the day
Although Common Sense never went or graduated from college, he was well respected and worked as a Teacher, a Coach, a Mentor and a Handyman.
While a Teacher, Common Sense had been known to take sabbaticals, such as:
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when a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; or
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when a teenager was suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; or
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when a teacher was fired for trying to reprimand an unruly student; or
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when public schools stopped requiring students to recite the Pledge of Allegiance every morning; or
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when schools started requiring parental consent to give an aspirin to a student; but not informing parents when a student became pregnant or wanted to have an abortion;
and most recently
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when criminals starting receiving better treatment than their innocent victims.
Common Sense was always very soft spoken and rarely spoke up unless he knew “The Truth” about a subject or issue. He and was not loud, boastful or prideful. Common Sense always looked out for others. He was always there when you asked for his help and was willing to lend a helpful hand to anyone in a time of need.
He will be remembered for his quick wit and for his teachings, as:
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Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
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Knowing why the early bird gets the worm;
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Knowing that Life isn't always fair;
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Knowing its better to leave a sleeping dog lay;
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Knowing not to spend more money than you earn;
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Knowing it is important to save money for a rainy day; and
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Admitting that maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Justice, by his wife, Discretion, by his son, Responsibility, by his daughter, Reason; and by one grandchild, Accountability.