I'll tell you this.. I sure am glad I'm single these days.

My last ex was a bit on the crazy side.

I used to call her up on the phone and she'd tell me come on over, there was no one home…

So I would, and there was no one home.

She used to drive me crazy.

She was afraid of the dark, then she saw me naked and now she's scared of the light.

It's okay now though.

Seriously…

I really shouldn't tell jokes about my ex., she's attached to a machine that keeps her alive… yeah, it's called the refrigerator…

She couldn't cook either…

we'd always pray AFTER we ate…

I got her a pressure cooker for Christmas once.

We ate off the ceiling for weeks after that…