I keep having this same horrible nightmare, over and over.

In the dream, I'm trapped in a huge public handicapped stall and there's no paper and It's too late to notice.

I sit there for hours… No one comes.

I decide to brave the dash to the sink and paper towel dispenser.

Frantically, with my pants around my knees I claw at the dispenser, It clogs up and I'm only able to tear little triangle shaped pieces from the mass.

I shove them in my pocket with one hand, still clawing at the clog with my other hand.

My pants fall to my ankles.

That's when the door bursts open and a bus load of midget rodeo clowns, Chef Ramsay and the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders come barging in….

They cram into the stalls and overload the urinals.

No one seems to notice me as they push and shove their way to the sink.

In the confusion I lose my pants entirely…

I drop to my knees, fumbling around between everyone's shuffling feet, trying desperately to locate my pants.

A pair of brown loafers face me at eye level, unmoving, stationary.

I look up slowly, meticulously… It's Jim Acosta and he's holding a microphone.

I awaken, screaming, bathed in a cold sweat… I need to use the bathroom…