Given where GEOTUS is in the plan, two things are most necessary for a true high-level anon. Shitposting and popcorn. This post is dedicated to “making popcorn great again”.
Buying Popcorn:
The most important thing about making great popcorn is popcorn selection. Avoid the crap at the grocery store like Jolly Time or Orville Redenbacher. What you want is popcorn that is sold by farmers like these varieties on ebay:
https://www.ebay.com/itm/Amish-Country-Popcorn-10-1-Lb-Bag-Variety-Gift-Bundle-Popping-Corn-Kernels/282937969464?epid=531359161&hash=item41e06acb38:g:dkEAAOSw75xa0Sov:rk:17:pf:0
Buying it on ebay is expensive. If you can find a local store that specializes in hand packaged bulk products, you can often find these kinds of varieties. These varieties generally have smaller, less dense hulls for easier eating, but they all have different characteristics.
Making Popcorn:
Making popcorn on a stove is a snap once you know what you are doing. Find a medium sized saucepan with a LID that fits well (very important!). I normally use peanut oil, which handles heat very well and tastes good. You could use any oil that handles heat well though, like canola or avocado oil.
Pour enough oil in to cover the base of the saucepan. Throw a few popcorn kernels into the oil, and put the saucepan on high heat. Then, set aside about a third to half cup of popcorn in a small container.
Wait until you hear one of the kernels pop which tells you the oil is very hot, then carefully lift the lid and dump the popcorn you had set aside in the saucepan, and start gently agitating the saucepan while the popcorn is in the oil. Keep agitating the saucepan until most of the kernels are popped.
Dump the popcorn into a large bowl. Salt. Eat. Yum. WAAAAAY better than bagged or microwave popcorn..