Barack Hussein Obama dies and goes to Hell.
The devil explains that while BHO is surely on his list, they never thought she would lose, and so there isn't any room for him.
"I suppose I can send one person upstairs and have you take their place. I'll show you three people's torture, who weren't as evil as you, and you can decide which eternity to suffer," the devil offers.
BHO accepts the deal, and the devil shows him around.
In the first room is George HW Bush, who is being torn apart by Timber Wolves. Hussein explains that Wolves remind him too much of Hillary's yapping like a dog, so they move on.
In the second room, No Name is being forced to experience the trauma every injured veteran has ever faced in the line of duty so he'd know what it's like to actually be a war hero. Hussein explains that even in hell he wouldn't wear a military uniform that implies he'd want to fight for the good of America, so they move on.
In the third room, the false prophet Mohammad is cringing as he's forced to perpetually fuck WJC's diseased asshole over and over again.
Hussein thinks it over and figures if it's good enough for his beloved prophet Mohammad, it's good enough for him. Besides, it wouldn't be the first time he's had his four inches in an old man's ass. He makes his choice.
"Very well," the devil replies. "Bill, you're free to go."