BFFFT
THE DENVER AIRPORT SCHWAG
WHAT IS THIS NECROSADIST FAKE JEW SCHWMEGMA ON MUH COCK
THEY MUST OF SHOVED A TON CHICKEN FEATHERS UP DOROTHY'S ASSHOLE HUH
BE BRIGHT AND HOMO LIKE A PEACOCOK DOROTHY
I WONDER WHAT THOSE 25K PAPERCLIP CLONES DID IN THE AFTERLIFE
IT'S A REAL BUMMER
YOUR DANIEL IS PEDO
AND
YOUR HARRY IS FAGGOT
FOR THE ROMANTIC IN YOUR INNER HOMO
I LOVE YOU DERPINA
THANK YOU DERPINA FOR KISSING SNEK
AND
THANK YOU DERPINA FOR RIDEING TEH DOUBLE HUMP
SCHUMER BRAND FAKE JEW HAM
COME'S IN A CAN
TASTES BETTER THAN SPAM
MISPWOSO - The MaxiMegalon Institute of Slowly and Painfully Working Out the Surprisingly Obvious
The famous Herring Sandwich experiments conducted millennia ago at MISPWOSO, demonstrated that anything that thinks logically can be fooled by something else which thinks at least as logically as it does. The easiest way to fool a completely logical robot is to feed it the same stimulus sequence over and over again so it gets locked in a loop.
A robot was programmed to believe that it liked herring sandwiches. This was actually the most difficult part of the whole experiment. Once the robot had been programmed to believe that it liked herring sandwiches, a herring sandwich was placed in front of it. Whereupon the robot thought to itself, "Ah! A herring sandwich! I like herring sandwiches."
It would then bend over and scoop up the herring sandwich in its herring sandwich scoop, and then straighten up again. Unfortunately for the robot, it was fashioned in such a way that the action of straightening up caused the herring sandwich to slip straight back off its herring sandwich scoop and fall on to the floor in front of the robot. Whereupon the robot thought to itself, "Ah! A herring sandwich…", etc., and repeated the same action over and over and over again. The only thing that prevented the herring sandwich from getting bored with the whole damn business and crawling off in search of other ways of passing the time was that the herring sandwich, being just a bit of dead fish between a couple of slices of bread, was marginally less alert to what was going on than was the robot.
The scientists at the Institute thus discovered the driving force behind all change, development and innovation in life, which was this: herring sandwiches. They published a paper to this effect, which was widely criticized as being extremely stupid. They checked their figures and realized that what they had actually discovered was "boredom", or rather, the practical function of boredom. In a fever of excitement they then went on to discover other emotions, Like "irritability", "depression", "reluctance", "inkiness" and so on. The next big breakthrough came when they stopped using herring sandwiches, whereupon a whole welter of new emotions became suddenly available to them for study, such as "relief", "joy", "friskiness", "appetite", "satisfaction", and most important of all, the desire for "happiness".
This was the biggest breakthrough of all.
Vast wodges of complex computer code governing robot behaviour in all possible contingencies could be replaced very simply. All that robots needed was the capacity to be either bored or happy, and a few conditions that needed to be satisfied in order to bring those states about. They would then work the rest out for themselves.
The Perfectly Normal Beasts are animals which migrate on the idyllic planet of Lamuella twice a year before disappearing completely. The beasts are called "perfectly normal" by Old Thrashbarg so that no one will find it suspicious that they disappear into oblivion. They are hunted by the Lamuellans and put in the sandwiches made by Arthur Dent during his time as a sandwich maker.
In order to escape Lamuella, Arthur and Ford Prefect ride on a Perfectly Normal Beast as they disappear and are transported to The Domain of The King.
Devices, Ships, People, Places, Races and Species encounteredEdit
Arthur is still trying to find Fenchurch after she disappeared during a hyperjump.
Zaphod (again) attempts to reach Zarniwoop as he did in the Secondary Phase.
Max Quordlepleen, Thor and Zarquon all previously appeared at Milliways in the Primary Phase.
Ford discovers the Hitchhikers Guide is no longer owned by Megadodo Publications.
Vann Harl is the editor of the Hitchhikers Guide.
Arthur crashlands on the planet Lamuella and becomes the 'Sandwich Maker', serving up Perfectly normal beast.
Trillian presents Arthur with his daughter Random Dent.
The Guide Mark II uses Reverse Temporal Engineering to arrange circumstances to benefit whoever is using it.
The planet Rupert is mentioned and visited by Tricia McMillan.
Ford and Arthur eat some bacon rolls at the Domain of the King Bar and Grill.
Babel fish are capable of shifting sideways in probabiltiy (taking whoever they are within with them), should circumstances become dire.
The whole gang end up at a club Stavro Mueller Beta, then the Earth is destroyed.
In one possible ending Arthur and Lintilla (and several of her clones) are happy aboard the Heart of Gold.
In other possible ending Arthur is lying in front of a bulldozer with Fenchurch backing him up.
In another possible ending the whole gang end up at Milliways, where Arthur re-meets Fenchurch who is there waitressing, Marvin is also present (again) parking cars.
Zarquon removes Wowbagger's immortality.