dChan - Q Origins Project Archive

Arthur Dent, Ford Prefect, Trillian, and Zaphod Beeblebrox leave the planet Magrathea on the Heart of Gold. A Vogon ship attacks them, and Arthur's attempt to have the ship's computer make him a cup of tea leaves the Heart of Gold unable to fight it off. Zaphod calls up his ancestor Zaphod Beeblebrox the Fourth to rescue them. Zaphod and Marvin vanish, leaving the others on the ship in a black void.

Zaphod and Marvin find themselves on Ursa Minor Beta, the home planet for the offices of the Hitchhiker's Guide. Zaphod goes looking for Zarniwoop, the Guide's lead editor, though his staff insist he has been out of a intergalactic cruise. A man named Roosta takes Zaphod to Zarniwoop's offices just as Frogstar fighters attack the building and tow it to their home planets, Frogstar World B. Following Roosta's instructions and escaping through Zarniwoop's office's windows, he is caught by Gargravarr and taken to be exposed to the Total Perspective Vortex, a device that drives those that experience mad due to showing them their insignificant contributions to the infinite universe. However, Zaphod is unfazed by the Vortex, telling a perplexed Gargravarr that it showed him that he was the most important being in the universe. Left to his own, Zaphod eventually finds Zarniwoop on a long-abandoned spaceliner. Zarniwoop reveals that once Zaphod stepped into his offices, he has been in a virtual universe designed for Zaphod's benefit for purposes of bringing the Heart of Gold, which had been microscopically shrunk and in Zaphod's pocket, to Zarniwoop, so that Zarniwoop can use it to find the true ruler of the universe. However, Zaphod reunites with Ford, Arthur, and Trillian, and escape to the nearest restaurant. This turns out to be the Restaurant at the End of the Universe, built atop the ruins of Frogstar World B and existing in a time bubble near the end of the universe; they also find Marvin, now billions of years old, having been waiting for them as a parking attendant.

Knowing Zarniwoop will track them down, Zaphod suggests they leave, stealing a sleek, all-black spacecraft. Too late they discover this is a special stunt ship for the band Disaster Area, which is programmed to fall into a local sun in time with the band's climax. Marvin reluctantly volunteers to be stay behind and operate a teleporter so the others can escape. Zaphod and Trillian find themselves back aboard the Heart of Gold under Zarniwoop's control, and who forces them to use the ship's Impossibility Drive to taken them to The Ruler of the Universe. On a unpopulated planet, they find the Ruler is an old man that has no idea he is the ruler, and is even skeptical if anything around him exists. While Zarniwoop tries to reason with the Ruler, Zaphon and Trillian make their escape in the Heart of Gold, stranding Zarniwoop.