For all you Satan worshippers out there tonight. You know what's coming to you.
How's eternity feelin' for ya?
Me and the "Oscars" tonite…
Clean your pistol when the boyfriend comes over.
Take him off for a minute, show him your shotgun and then rack the slide. At that point, ask him, "Do you know what that sound is?"
When he says, "No," you say, "That's the alarm that goes off when my daughter isn't home by 10:30 tonite, or of some of her clothes have been removed."
Works like a charm.