thank you baker!
What the fuck did you just fucking say about Navy Seal copypastas, you little newfag? I’ll have you know they've ranked top out of all the comments on the Internet, and they have been translated in numerous contexts on 4chan, and have over 300 confirmed variants. Navy Seal copypastas are trained in memetic warfare and are the top copypasta in the entire circlejerk arsenel. You are nothing to them but just another target. They will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this subreddit, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit about Navy Seal copypastas over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak this copypasta is contacting it's secret network of /b/tards across the USA and your IP is being doxxed right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. Navy Seal copypastas can be anywhere, anytime, and they can confuse you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with mad-lib permutations. Not only are they extensively trained in trolling, but they have access to the entire arsenal of Anonymous and will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the Internet, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. This copypasta will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch. I’ll have you know my name is John, and I woke up this morning 5:30 sharp to the smell of wet pussy. I was getting a blowjob from two bitches (Shit was SO Cash), one was trying to fit my humongous 3 pound balls in her mouth while the other was choking halfway on my 18 and 3\8 inch dick. She started to squirt hard, she was convulsing and having 6 orgasms at the same time. I gave it to them and they were on the floor squirting like motherfucking fountains. Must have come about a quart of sperm and compressed air. Imagine your best orgasm, then multiply it by 35. I had to go to base camp so I front-flipped from my 14th floor barracks into my valet parked 2012 Ferrari (I got connexions). Pushed my shit to about 4 hundo (mph, mind you) and I was at base camp in no time. When I entered, I became a top sniper and was granted access to the entire arsenal of the USMC. I learned how to kill someone in over 700 different ways and was assigned to be the leader of a squad that will kill 300 terrorists using gorilla warfare tactics. Also did 6000 push-ups, 8000 sit-ups and bench-pressed 30 plates in 16 minutes. After basic training, I met a network of secret spies who will help me trace your IP address, while eating gold plated sushi and 15,000 $ champagne. My unit got the rest of the day off and I became captain of our base’s football team and starter of the basketball team. I got straight A’s on the military entrance exams and received more awards. Meanwhile, you were jacking off to pictures on Facebook and naked drawn Japanese people. Went back in the Lambo to my barracks and now I am getting ready to go to sleep. I am going to graduate at the top of my class in the Navy Seals tomorrow and I want to look pretty much perfect for it. Don’t be a stranger and remember, I did more in one day than you will your entire life. You're fucking dead kiddo.
I don’t give a fuck who you are or where you live. You can count on me to be there to bring your fucking life to a hellish end. I’ll put you in so much fucking pain that it’ll make Jesus being nailed to a cross in the desert look like a fucking back massage on a tropical island. I don’t give a fuck how many reps you have or how tough you are IRL, how well you can fight, or how many fucking guns you own to protect yourself. I’ll fucking show up at your house when you aren’t home. I’ll turn all the lights on in your house, leave all the water running, open your fridge door and not close it, and turn your gas stove burners on and let them waste gas. You’re going to start stressing the fuck out, your blood pressure will triple, and you’ll have a fucking heart attack. You’ll go to the hospital for a heart operation, and the last thing you’ll see when you’re being put under in the operating room is me hovering above you, dressed like a doctor. When you wake up after being operated on, wondering what ticking time bomb is in your chest waiting to go off. You’ll recover fully from your heart surgery. And when you walk out the front door of the hospital to go home I’ll run you over with my fucking car out of no where and kill you. I just want you to know how easily I could fucking destroy your pathetic excuse of a life, but how I’d rather go to a great fuckng length to make sure your last remaining days are spent in a living, breathing fucking hell. It’s too late to save yourself, but don’t bother committing suicide either… I’ll fucking resuscitate you and kill you again myself you bitch-faced phaggot. Welcome to hell, population: you.
Shut the fuck up. I'm so tired of being disrespected on this goddamn website. All I wanted to do was post my opinion. MY OPINION. But no, you little bastards think it's "hilarious" to mock those with good opinions. My opinion. while not absolute, is definitely worth the respect to formulate an ACTUAL FUCKING RESPONSE AND NOT JUST A SHORT MEME OF A REPLY. I've been on this site for 6 months: 6 MONTHS and I have never felt this wronged. It boils me up that I could spend so much time thinking and putting effort into things while you shits sit around (probably jerking off to traps or whatever gay shit you like) and make fun of the intellectuals of this world. I've bored you? Good for fucking you. Literally no one cares that your little brain is to underdeveloped and rotted to comprehend my idea…MY GREAT GREAT IDEA. I could sit here all day whining, but I won't. I'm NOT a whiner. I'm a realist and an intellectual. I know when to call it quits and to leave the babybrains to themselves. I'm done with this goddamn site and you goddamn immature children. I have lived my life up until this point having to deal with memesters and idiots like you. I know how you work. I know that you all think you're "epik trolls" but you're not. You think you baited me? NAH. I've never taken any bait. This is my 100% real opinion divorced from anger. I'm calm, I'm serene. I LAUGH when people imply I'm intellectually low enough to take bait. I always choose to reply just to spite you. I won. I've always won. Losing is not in my skillset. So you're probably gonna reply "lol epik trolled" or "u mad bro" but once you've done that you've shown me I've won. I've tricked the trickster and conquered memery. I live everyday growing stronger to fight you plebs and low level trolls who are probably 11 (baby, you gotta be 18 to use 8chan). But whatever, I digress. It's just fucking annoying that I'm never taken serious on this site, goddamn.
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you puta pequeno? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in Los Zetas, and I’ve been involved in numerous executions on the Sinaloas, and I have over 300 public beheadings. I am trained in chainsaw warfare and I’m the top decapitator in all of Juarez. You are nothing to me but just another head waiting to be severed. I will detatch it with a lack of precision and cutting force the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, gringo. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of mariachi bands across the USA and a narcocorrido is being written about you right now so you better prepare for the chainsaw, gordo. The chainsaw that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your head. You’re fucking dead, paco. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in exactly one way, and that’s with my brand new Husqvarna 440 chainsaw. Not only am I extensively trained in chainsaw combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the local hardware store and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable head off the face of the body, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over your head and your head will come off in it. You’re fucking dead, gringo.
Hope you shitty little wife beater racecucks enjoy the last weekend of normalcy you'll ever have.
Look at you, thumping your flabbly chests, thinking you've won a big victory, your puny dicks hard for the first time in YEARS to something other than your shameful stash of Blacked.com porn.
Listen to me, and listen good:
Holy SHIT.
You have no idea the HELL that's coming.
We will not forget this.
We will camp out at the polls and scream bloody murder when old white people get close enough to cast their ballots.
We will get our Big Blue Wave and it will fucking drown you.
We will start impeaching damn near everything. And I mean EVERYTHING.
Every Jesusfreak. Every libertarian. Every mealy-mouthed cunt like Jeff Flake who pretends to be decent and then becomes a fly by night rape apologist when it's time to fucking count.
We will fuck shit up. ALL the shitty stupid shit White America cherishes.
We will set it on fire and spit and shit and piss on it in front of you.
And then we will go full Stalin and throw every sexist freak with social anxiety into a literal dungeon if they've ever so much as posted the word "roastie" online.
I'm not fucking kidding.
You…you think this bomber fuckshit is only making skinhead assholes more radical and racist? Fuck you.
Seriously, FUCK YOU.
It is making every single Democrat under 35 have a burning, killer urge to go full Stalin on all your asses.
It is making us hate the First Amendment a thousand times more than the Second.
We will take your guns. We will gag your speech. We will kick your balls. We will unironically use your fat white heteronormie white asses as fucking footrests for pink haired commissars with hella cool frames, and then we'll make sure every new white boy shit into this world gets a prescription for estrogen as soon as they're a month old.
Fuck.
What the fuck did you just fucking say about us, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in Baker's Skool and I’ve been involved in numerous secret bakes on Al-Quitchen. I have over 300 confirmed breads. I am trained in guerrilla dough mixing and I’m the top kneader in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another hot cross bun. I will wipe you the fuck out with my spatula and whisk the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of apple pie cooks across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the mixing bowl, maggot. The mixing bowl that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your tastebuds. You’re fucking baked, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can bake over seven hundred ways and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed dough kneading, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United Bakers and Donut Makers Union and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit flour, water, yeast, raisins and a pinch of salt all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
it's pasta hahahahahahahahahah