How about making PLAYABLE cards? Three complete sets, about the corruption, revolution, and rebirth of America?
The MTG community is huge and full of autists. They're not just kids either.
Could be good for recruitment.
Thanks mate, your stuff is pretty awesome too, I am sure I will be coming back through your cards for ideas.
Good Idea, I am thinking Magic Kingdom should be able to gain control of kids and celebrities. Is VJ Valerie Jarett? SR Susan Rice? Who is SP?
Here are minor fixes to previous ones, plus three new ones, including Trump Tower.
Alex Jones, fuck yeah, that's some funny shit
Glad to see others making these playable. It's going to be a lot of work.
Tips on MTG for anyone who is starting out and wants to make cards playable with real magic cards:
The colored symbols represent mana, which magical energy drawn from the land. Each color has its own "personality".
White = law, order, God and Country, etc. Tends to have good combat tricks, and small creatures with decent abilities that get stronger in groups. Problem is that it sucks at card draw.
Blue = mind, psi powers, control. Great for card draw and winning on a technicality, but creatures generally suck.
Black = Evil, death, greed, satanism, etc. Best kill spells. Sacrifices its own creatures for fun and profit. The problem is that great power often comes at great price. Black can end up fucking itself.
Red is associated with fire, anger, chaos, and lightning. It has by far the best "direct damage" spells. The problem is that it sucks at draw and it tends to run out of gas.
Green is nature. I don't see it mattering much in this fight but will try to throw in a few cards. Maybe some land search. Green is good at that.
Usually there will be 3 sets of 250 cards, which together will make a "block", or 3-act story arc.
Each of the three sets will have a handful of creature types or play dynamics that generally go together and go with the story line. There will also be a bunch of utility cards, combat tricks, and cards that don't really do much besides add flavor.
For creatures, I'm going to try to plug into Goblins, Vampires, Humans, and Soldiers. There are already a bunch of cards out there to support them. This also means that our cards might trickle out into those decks and become conversation pieces. Goblins are a strong tribe favoring swarming and reckless tactics. Vampires are a strong tribe favoring draining life and getting stronger when they draw blood.
Humans are a decent all-around tribe.
Each block introduces a few new dynamics. So I will throw in child sacrifice and mana drain and maybe something else.
I made some Goblin cards and got shoah'd from Cardsmith just so you know. It is better to just use the direct download button. The problem is that you are always starting from scratch. Fucking annoying.
Here are three old Goblin favorites, plus two new ones.
>Lets not make too many OP cards
Agree. A big, impressive card like the God Emperor isn't nearly as good as he seems. That's because you'll never get to cast him if a horde of Taco Toads has been fucking your shit up since turn 3. The game is usually decided by creatures that cost 2 or 3 mana and have some special magic trick that goes with the rest of your deck.
It's almost as if they have been hived by a Demon Vampire…
Hey man, that's a nice AI God you got there, would be a shame if you had to sacrifice it to Addicted Scrappers.
So I weakened Addicted Scrappers enough that it will only be a sideboard card against artifacts.
I also made Meme Magic cost 1 less. That way it doesn't compete with Deplorable Trolls on turn 3. With these two cards, it will be possible to convoke the God Emperor in all His glory on turn 4!
I fucking love these cards you made, I really do, I never would have thought of making them.
Just two playability quibbles:
Alex Jones's ability yields half a card on average, which makes him not worth playing. Suggest drawing 4 cards upon success. Then the average card yield is 1.5 cards.
Haku is effectively an 18/6 when fighting creatures in battle, plus he is a fat Lord (which means he gives bonuses to other creatures).
That's way overpowered for a cost of 5. Maybe say "other Samauri", reduce his attack to 4, and make his ability more expensive. You could also make him cost {1}{w}{w}{r}{r} to make him harder to cast. Gotta have him though. Love the card and his quote.
RIP Harambe, we will avenge you, and give you immortality as a meme. Harambe, Protector of Children is perfect for this set.
There will be some good lands in this set so maybe we need a protector of lands. Also gives more use for green. Behold Sasquatch!
I realized that Sasquatch can be used to cheat certain lands into play (Trump Tower and others in MTG). Also wanted to expand his ability a bit. Therefore added extra green.
Ayahuasca Healer can now do multiple ceremonies per turn (screwed up by adding tap symbol).
OH MY GOD, LORD PLEASE LET IT BE TRUE
Realized green often has family values too. Also realized that most children are, in fact, Humans. At some point I should probably go back and change the other cards to reflect that, and to make children white, even when they are black. Can't tap enough autism for it this turn though.
The Vatican is new, two Goblins are new, and swapping out an old one's flavor
One of the things that makes America great is that we have great national parks. These five "wedge lands" are just a few of the many things that make America worth fighting for.
Nice job. Anonymous white/black lol.
I am honored that someone takes my memes and runs with them. I think I like your Q better.
Snowden can gain control of the God Emperor, and even summon him for free? Blasphemy!
That garbage island really exists, fuuuck, I didn't know that
Yes, Snowden's ability wouldn't work on the truly powerful. It is mainly to catch all the chump whistleblowers. (Wouldn't necessarily have to be a Wizard, and in general you don't want to be too restrictive in MTG. There are whistleblowers everywhere).
Skid Row LOL love it
Agree on adding red to open borders. Original blue-black was based on who was casting it- the hordes would stay in their shitholes if our politicians weren't controlled. But playability and redpill-spreading demands that a goblin-friendly card never have blue (or white, for that matter… And the Cabal is going to have a hard time coming up with the white mana that orcs sometimes use in MTG. BTW, Orcs in MTG are nothing like in Lord of the Rings. They are a shitty tribe with few cards outside of Tarkir, and no support. I threw in Orcish Settlers pretty much as a joke, as it is perfect flavor for the set.) I figured it was going to be just goblins + vampires because the more tribes you have, the more support cards you need and the fewer synergies you have. Diversity really isn't strength in MTG. I guess the point is let's make the SJWs AND the 3rd world hordes be Goblins and let's have a red/black dual mana open borders card. Not mixed mana, dual mana! Like {2}{b/r}{b/r} for example. I'll make one.
I now find myself looking for excuses to drop some of Edward Abbey's many great gems. Dude was extremely based for an anarchist.
Three revised oldies but goodies
Artifact lands are cool. There are bunch of cards floating around that made it extremely broken to play with artifact lands. I think most if not all of the artifact lands have been banned from play. (not like it matters here- in fact I am sure there are people who would take a good excuse to play artifact lands again). I've heard stories of people getting their asses kicked consistently on turn 1 by multi-thousand dollar artifact decks (not even talking Black Lotus / moxen here).
I have been out of the loop for a couple years myself so to any lurkers, if I do something silly please point it out.
I assume you know that the puppetmasters have some kind of weird AI cult going on? It's not just about uploading consciousness or wanting perfect control, it's that they want to build a quantum computing AI that can be possessed easier than human flesh. A perfect vessel for whatever interdimensional nasties are trying to come through.
Wow, nice cards. The memes are spawning, mutating. May the best variant win. I see you picked up on the zombie druggie thing too. I hadn't got around to it but it kind of writes itself.
AI Overlord pretty much says "8: You win the game".
With your affinity deck I can see why you liked Chinese Factory. I couldn't make it an artifact land because then it could copy itself infinitely, and that is sure to be abused.
Which reminds me of another idea I hadn't gotten around to: Corporations. Much trolling can be had with the likes of MonSatan, Goldman Sucks, McDonalds, Blackwater, Hallibutron, Comcast, Disney, Bank of America, Big Pharma, etc. But you will really like Wal-Mart.
Moloch devour 3 or devour 2? 3 would be f'in crazy, given his counter doubling ability.
Here you go.
My understanding of it is that lucifer = satan (even though the illuminati would say otherwise). He is black-blue-red and is more about deception and control, whereas moloch is more about sacrifice and power. Moloch = baal = beelzebub = chemosh = satan's right hand man. I could be wrong. It's a murky subject.
I like these extra faction(s) to round out the set. So we have RWU patriots, BRU Demons+Illuminati+minions, UB+artifact Tech Lords and the cult of the AI God, and maybe a secret Nazi faction. By the time we're done with it Goblins+Zombies might be also be a viable way to play, even without their overlords.
I would like to see Gaia (GWR) as a faction just to round out the set but don't see a way to make it both viable and plausible enough for redpilling.
Other possible ways to add Green… just spitballing here: Survivalists, totally feral gangs, oldschool hippies (from before the left was taken by the Dark Powers), Amish Mafia, some genetic engineer faction led by MonSatan (obviously GBU), maybe even throw in the Rothschilds. If you read the "Rofschild" disclosure, he obviously runs green (in addition to blue and black, of course). The Nazis were strong with red, white and black but they ran all five colors- including green.
Yes, Demons vs. AI would be interesting. In MTG, black has a problem getting rid of artifacts and enchantments. OTOH, certain people seem to be trying to create this AI God as a means of bringing the demons through. Interesting times!
Wow, that's a high-quality set. Lots of cards, lots of facts, coherent story, good images, and it looks pretty clean as far as rules and playability go. I'm going to slowly steal some of their cards (with variations, of course). There was also a joke set called "Katrina: The Gathering" which some lefties made after Hurricane Katrina. Generally lesser quality and more Katrina-specific but still some funny stuff.
http:// onlinegamers.org/ktg/index2.html
MagaTheBlathering is a high bar to pass but I think it's doable. We have something they don't: The Big Picture. The Ugly Truths. This is why our side makes funnier memes. The left's "facts" are mostly from CNN. Even when they are true, they are quibbles designed to make Trump look bad and distract from the big picture.
Oops. Here's one that can't snatch the AI God… or Dulce Base for that matter! I also made Fraudulent Eviction generally easier to cast, and fixed a dangerous technicality. The deportation card is the same card but 1 more expensive. It would be a shit card in any other set, but here it is worth running.
I see from your ID that you are Q Card Anon- So, out of respect, you get a say: What should I do with regards to these cards and/or this board?
Thanks boss, will carry on!
Your cards for normies; Diptastick and I will take care of the MTG players. Half of them are spergs at the very least so they can swallow a redpill if it fits into the framework of their detailed fantasy universe. And they do need utility cards and combat tricks like the crack pipe, meth lab, lands, etc.- but normies won't appreciate them. Especially if there is not enough space left on the card for a decent redpill.
Awesome card #100 BTW
Thanks, glad you like it. Here is a variant which fully spells out the card name, but with no spaces. Awkward either way. This might be a bit better. I also made a better version of Jeff Sessions. He goes better with the new Gitmo card and with the Detain dynamic which some white/blue creatures use.
Good to know we're on the same page, except for Drill Instructor, OO-Rah.
Just out of curiosity, do you know other Marines who are into Q? If they're not following him now, they soon might be. I have a feeling this is the right-wing 60s and Q is the Grateful Dead.
This is a good idea. One archived conspiracy link on appropriate cards, written on the bottom of the meme.
I'll have to use something better than MS Paint for my memes but in the meantime, anons are welcome to suggest links (or cards).
Bless you and your daughter. May you raise her to be wiser than the millenials.
Please forgive me, but I had to weaken the Gunny a bit. He can only toughen up his soldiers before battle. Working on more utility cards. Here's one for Angry Redneck.
Thanks.
To the lurkers: I do NOT begrudge grammarfags, quibbling MTG autists, conspiracy theorists who want me to make a card for them, memefags who say I missed some obvious symbolism, etc. I want this set to be good. You might have noticed that I make cards more than twice on average, and this average will surely increase, as i have a backlog of minor fixes. Take Darkest Ritual, for example… How could I miss the subtle yet very important message of gaining 1 life after the sacrifice? These people are sick.
Schiff, LOL
Wanna see his head on a stick (and many others)
Which Alter Ego do you think is better? I think it's creepier to have it as a separate creature, but could lead to bizarre situations. Or is that part of the fun?
Yes, very strange. I heard they threw in every conspiracy theory that was floating around at the time. And indeed, the outline of the stuff we know today has been known since the 60s, which is remarkable when you consider how difficult it was to do research back then. An anon today can do more research before breakfast than a dedicated professional could do in a week. And yet there were some who saw the outline of the Beast. Like the Birchers. They saw the outline, and everyone called them paranoid lunatics, but the truth was much WORSE than they suspected!
Still doesn't explain how the Illuminati card people came up with cards like the Frog God, or Terrorist Nuke (I do believe the WTC was nuked). This and many other subtle things make me suspect that time and even physical reality are not what we think they are.
I don't really know much about her except that she's a Vampire and is apparently a good blocker (helicopter attempt? Should add Reach?), but she's rather clueless, to the extent that she might even be a liability. She lets everyone know who the toadies are, possibly posts drunk on 8chan saying she wants to watch us all die of thirst, and is such a snowflake that she rage-quit Twitter due to a very small number of trolls. Her family has trillions of dollars and a license to steal from 99% of the population via counterfeiting, but she can't hire a single internet janitor for a few minutes per day which is what it would have taken to purge the trolls from her twitter account. Q says he can hear her breathing. Did I miss something?
Fuck those motherfuckers
We don't work for free for profiteers. We work for free to MAGA.
Discord is comped so I am a bit paranoid about using them. Whose cards are they after? Just QcardAnon's, or my cards + Diptastick's too?
Thanks for the heads up, either way.
QCardAnon, being able to prove "prior art" (i.e. you had the cards first) might help. IANAL so I don't know. They might be able to make slight changes and get away with it.
Minutemen, Nice
MK-Ultra, Kek
Perhaps there could be another faction: Organized Crime? I know that the Cabal is a form of organized crime, but I realized something that might cause trouble later on:
Outside of EDH and Conflux, I have never seen anyone pull off a decent deck with more than three colors. Many have tried, but they always failed. 4+ color decks require too many specialty lands, and even then they are too slow to win. Which makes me worry about a Cabal deck. IRL they use all five colors. But thanks to George Soros, their three strongest colors are obviously blue, black, and red.
So, what to do about white-black cards?
I guess the first decision is whether to make them playable in a 3-color cabal deck by making them use split mana symbols. White represents law, and black represents corruption of the law.
But white-black is a fun combo to play in and of itself and there are a lot of Organized Crime flavored things we could throw in. For example, the Mafia is arguably white-black. So is the Vatican. So are the cops. So are the judges. There is the pre-existing Extort dynamic, which uses white/black. White/black decks tend to use a bunch of small creatures and they tend to be hard to permanently get rid of, and their deaths are profitable. Your Organized Crime card goes with that. I like the Choose a new target ability, LOL.
In the Ravnica sets there is a white-black banking crime syndicate masquerading as a church. It could be a good source of cards and keks because it's obviously based on the Vatican Bank. (The same sets also include a blue-black mindfucking secret bloodline which was supposedly killed off but is actually stronger than ever, and their symbol is a one-eyed squid. Obviously represents the Illuminati.)
At this point I am leaning towards a separate organized crime faction. Makes the whole set more interesting overall. Some cards could be split mana- like cops and judges- playable by patriots, cabal, Nazis, or mafia. Other cards could have the white mana separated out to make people choose what flavor of deck they will be playing (since requiring white for casting will make people leave it out of Cabal decks… unless someone wants to make a blue-black-white Gnostic Illuminati faction, but let's not get ahead of ourselves…)
Also, explicitly colorless mana is not produced by most lands, which effectively makes it another color, unlike generic mana. Colorless can pay generic but generic can't pay colorless. So the only faction which will be able to effectively play cards requiring colorless mana will be the blue-black-colorless Transhumanist / Tech Lords / AI God faction. I will have to add some more colorless lands for them. Deserts, wastelands, garbage lands, and maybe Chinese Factory.
Re: demonic possession, Illuminati seem to use them for card draw, but shamans say they eat our suffering and our awareness- we would be much more powerful if they were not here.
Will probably have to change this card later.