BREAKING NEWS: WASHINGTON (AP)–Following China's lead in censorship banning the letter "N" in response to public protests over the repeal of term limits; Google, a subsidiary of Palo Alto based Alphabet (Goog) has implemented changes to user searches which deprecate all search results containing the letter "Q". When asked for comment PR representatives for the firm explained "The 17th letter of the english alphabet has been adopted by extremist groups who are advocating for free speech and original ideas which are not consistent with our globalist corporate vision. We are fortunate that our monopoly position gives us the power to do whatever we write in our Terms of Service with our users ideas. We feel that this policy will ultimately hasten adoption of a new universal alphabet, binary, that only our new Transhuman AI masters can use to efficiently to create meaningful thoughts and communication." When asked if the company was concerned that the change might drive users to search rival Microsoft(MSFT)'s Bing service, the represented laughed and pointed out that all 187 Bing queries in 2018 were directed to Google data centers in a cost saving move from Microsoft. The representative concluded the interview by asking why we bothered writing this article as no one would ever find it. Chinese censors, Twitter, and Facebook all applauded the move and indicated they had similar plans in development while representatives from the Queen, Qualcom, and JK Rowling witchcraft linked international Quidditch association could not be contacted for comment on their affiliation with extremism as our staff's Google queries contact information provided no results.
https:// www.cnn.com/2018/03/01/asia/china-letter-ban-trnd/index.html