What will today bring? 3.22.19
Breaking:
After failing as human, Preet Bharara decided to identify sexually as a barn animal and married his ex-boyfriend's livestock. His friends noted that since his new life began, he (Preet) continued his work in setting up roadblocks, by walking with his new spouses around the region, and stopping vehicles regularly.
It is still unclear of Preet's motives to leave the human race. Some suspect Donald Trump broke him. Others say it was the humiliation of the sex tape released involving ex NYS AG Eric Schneiderman. Sources say that after Bharara's sentencing next month… it is still unclear who will care for and feed his spouses. We will continue to follow the story and bring you any new details.