I am not going to pretend to "know." However, all through my life have been very odd experiences. Glimpses of distant events later proven accurate, memories that are not my own, but related to what is going on; the way I 'learn' - which is simply to 'remember I knew it already.'
The way I can call a date for something and see it unfold. Tales from school, obviously. It isn't something that is entirely convenient as sorcery. So I can't prove it and that isn't the point. As I explained to another several breads back… Some of us could feel this time coming in our bones.
Am I some kind of diluted star-child, or something? My ego sure likes to think I am. But that is because it likes to swell. But I do know that the longer this goes on… The more I am actually concerned from an existential standpoint. If you knew what I was writing for a fiction project related to Taoist symbolism and the exploration of what a 'god' is versus reality and ideology…. The implications are so obscenely arrogant that I prefer not to entertain them.
I may take the name HuanDai on occasion to unchain my ego for a moment… But to wield any kind of such power or influence…? Much more fun to be Dragon Born in videogames.
It all rightfully sounds absurd until the things you say on instinctual whim come to pass. When faced with what your understanding of things says "shouldn't be" - then it becomes far more rational to consider the absurd rather than drown in doubt.
There was a comment I made to an iden we suspected was Lynn back in the day. To which that iden said "autists shouldn't question those who make them."
Could have been Lynn. Could have been a troll. But considering the conditions surrounding my birth and the discussion of blood lines… As well as why this board was chosen and 'become the autists we know you are'. …. It is not impossible to see how those of us who eat and breathe this type of discussion truly are of some kind of common 'blood.'
I did often joke that I was a generic engineering project given my anatomical differences from my brothers. Wouldn't surprise me to find out I was fucking right about it… Or that Dad knew… He knew a lot of things that just seemed out of place at the time but make perfect sense in the context of memory.
That's enough deep diving on myself for today.