You are in my thoughts and prayers anon. You gave your pal a good life and he loved you in return. Hang in there, although it might not seem so right now, better days are ahead of you. God bless.
I tried to post something about this a few breads back, but it didn't catch anyone's attention. From the book "A Case for Christ" there is a whole section early in the book on Q which is described as deriving from the german word Quelle which also means "source" and it is described as a collection of pre-bible sayings sort of the same way a greatest hits album is put together today. It was a collection of sayings or teachings of Jesus.