Archer: Because you said we were on a break!

Lana: So two days later your cock's wet?

Archer: [scoffs] Oh, I'm sorry, Lana, is there a grace period? Because…[they begin arguing over each other]

Lana: There is an acceptable amount of time…

Archer: …if there is, you neglected to tell me about it…

Lana: …before you start cramming your trash dick…

Archer: …but I guess that's par for the course with you…

Lana: …into every woman unlucky enough to walk by with…

Archer: …because you never bother to consult with me on… Sterling Archer,

Lana: anything!

Archer: And for your information, this stupid break wasn't my idea, it was yours!

Lana: Because you, prolapsed rectum that you are, are infatuated with Veronica Deane, whose cobwebby old snooch, by the way… [looking at Archer's crotch] I can smell from here!

Archer: [chuckling] Well, it's not cobwebby anymore.

[Archer drinks directly from the champagne bottle he had been holding in front of his exposed privates. Lana attacks him]