Hey guys,

I'm not sure if I'm on the right spot for my question(s) but I have no clue where else to go so I'll give it a shot (please don't be to hard on me).

Little inside:

>> Suffering depression for 15 years now (on and off)

>> first depression at 16 y/o

>> many different health organisations to help me. They all saw me as a way of billing, not something to cure

>> don't use anti depressives anymore

>> was close to a couple of attempts but couldn't do it

>> last year I did an attempt but my friends, family and police found me on exact the moment it was about to go down

>> Everytime I was close to being "cured" I started realizing I would end up in a world where I would be a robot/slave/sheep: sleep, work, eat, repeat.

>> 2016 gave me hope but it takes time before I can actually see, feel and taste the freedom. Feels like time is running out

>> after last year I switched from health care org. again

>> intensive program with different treatments (talks, mindfulness, training etc.

>> It hurts to see sheeple, friends and family who are subjecting to the current "truth"

>> Big Tech and Big Pharma have ways to influence your thinking, being or any for of health.

Can somebody gives this Dutch guy some hope (or not, as long as it's truth) by helping me out on the following issues:

1. Is it possible my depression isn't caused by natural means but by human interference?

2. Is it possible to be cured from dysthymia

3. I've been trying every regular way of health care possible with 0 results. What else can I do?

4. Live feels like torture and the only reason I'm here today is because I promised my friends and family not to harm myself and I like to keep my promise but I'm on an edge where I can't respect my promise anymore. Is there anybody with experience and what did you try/do to hang in there (no pun intended).

5. How is it possible that people that are awake are not depressed as fuck while knowing the truth?

6. What would you want to say to me what other people wouldn't? (you know, those advice you get from people without asking for it and they come up with those easy default bullshit I could think of my self)

little side note: ADHD, intelligent (not in language or math), I'm a fighter without energy, nobody understands me and I don't understand other human beings.

Please help, as I have no clue what to do or where to go.

>>6494906

Tnx I will look into that. It would extend the time I've got to find a reason to keep going. I mean, doctors tell me my senses are over sensitive which makes me very aware of my surroundings. To see the suffer is just terrible. May I ask how you deal with the terror on this world without losing motivation to stick around?

>>6494908

Thnx!

>>6494913

Thanks. Kind people like here on the board are very, very rare in real life. And if they are there they don't have the time nor energy to care about others. I try to stay strong and hanging around here certainly helps restoring faith in humanity. One of the very few things in life that make it worth to stick around a bit longer.

>>6494946

Thnx. I do realize real life relationships are the key and they are great help some times but they don't understand and I can't blame them. The positive effects therefor are limited. The oversensitivity of my senses makes it hard to ignore certain negativity, especially when it hits my friends/family/loved ones. I'll try to focus more on this issue to learn how to deal with it. Thnx.

>>6494947

Thanks, this is something I didn't know yet and seems worth looking into.

>>6494958

I do live on the farm site in the eastern part of The Netherlands (near the German border). Living in a big city would have killed me years ago. Totally agree with you on that one. Thanks for your response. I'm going to take a long walk through the nature now to try and clear my head.

>>6494898

Anons are a great medicine for depression so far. It's not a final solution of course but does help me getting through the darkest of periods. Mad respect for you guys. Big love.

>>6494995

I am amazed how you got that from my previous post. I care a lot about the people around me but it costs so damn much energy it's almost literally killing me. And no matter how hard I try to tell people not to use things as FB etc for the sake of their health and freedom: they just don't seem to care and even wonder why I care so much. Hopeless.

It did help to type it out and get responses I could actually look into in stead of "you gotta shut down negative energy" or "you should seek happiness in the little things" and all other cliche bullshit like that.

Funny that Anons care and people you actually know don't have the time nor energy to do so. The world upside down.

>>6495057

Thank you! In Dutch we have a saying: He who does good will meet good. You might (and other anons) have proven it's true.