If your marriage is a mess, I highly recommend the Marriage Builder's website and methodologies.
Every bit of Bill Harley's advice is based on decades of real-world research and experience with thousands of couples.
It's Christian based, but that aspect is definitely not in your face.
Marriage counseling is a fucking disaster. Don't do it! Marriage Builders strategy is different and made sense, even to a tech geek like me.
https://www.marriagebuilders.com/a-summary-of-dr-harleys-basic-concepts.htm
FYI, the Harley's have a daily podcast and there's a user forum with tons of helpful people whose marriages were saved by following Harley's advice.
Not a paid endorsement in any way. Just chiming in to say yes, you really can save your F'd up marriage – with very few exceptions.