You can't unlearn what you know. Sorry. Also sorry that your circumstances seem to be so harsh.
Resolve to fight. You may not succeed personally, but this fight is bigger than the individual. This is about all of us.
And, hopefully, you'll come to realize that there are more important things in life. I want to win this fight. Not because I am important, but because I know what is important.
If you've ever gone through military training, then you'll look back and recognize that there was a turning point. An old Army recruiting slogan said it very well - "Watch me become we."
Be cherished by your friends, and here you have many. You'll never know us, but in battle that's just how it is.
Stand tall and strong, Brother. God's got your back.