Promises to my First Born

I promise to love you from this day forward.

I promise to teach you as I was taught. To pass on what I know about growing up in a world without a father.

I promise to give you a home filled with things that I can’t afford.

I promise that you will grow big and strong from the formula in this plastic bottle and the water from our copper taps.

I promise to keep the world around you free from germs. Everything you touch, wear, taste and smell from this day forward will be thoroughly sanitised.

I promise to vaccinate you against all the dangers in the world I’m told, alarmed and instructed about.

I promise that when your first teeth arrive, I’ll ensure you have a plastic ring to suck on and then chemically scrub them twice a day.

I promise to allow you to attend pre-school so that I can go back to work. Only then can I start to repay my debt of things.

I promise to invite institutionalised, organised and monetised religion into your life rather than the radical concepts of inner faith, peace and love. I’m confident the ageing, white men of these organisations will surely protect you from harm during my ever-increasing absences.

I promise that upon your first day in school I’ll purchase your first uniform and relinquish any of my beliefs to a larger narrative.

I promise that there you will learn to conform, not challenge authority and believe everything you are told.

I promise that what you don’t learn in school you’ll be able to glean from TV, Media and online when you get home, alone.

I promise to allow you to grow before your years. Open your young eyes to adult things such as the clothes you wear, the media you see and the people to idolise.

I promise that social media will be your guide, your benchmarks and the way you value yourself.

I promise to show you how to change the individual way you are, so that others can see themselves and be comfortable.

I promise to exemplify debt slavery, substance abuse, materialistic value and thinking only for oneself, whilst actively trying to conceal these traits.

I promise that there will come a time that I will be hated in your eyes and I won’t understand why.

A ANON