this week in: We're Fucked, so: ALIENS!

"According to The Times, multiple Navy pilots spotted "strange objects" with "no visible engine" reaching 30,000 feet and going hypersonic speeds."

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/navy-pilots-ufo-reports-confirmed-new-york-times-military-unidentified-flying-object/

not top secret test flights, nope, aliens, because unidentified will forever mean extraterrestrial

leeches, for reattaching fingers, or, yaknow, putting on your new ones:

"Kvist said each leech can sell for up to $20 and that they have been shown to improve blood flow in human fingers or toes that get reattached — but there’s no research to support other “new age” uses for the blood-sucking animals, such as preventing hair loss, the CBC reported."

https://www.miamiherald.com/news/nation-world/world/article230885464.html