Oh you poor dude, I have know individuals like you and ya know what their biggest problem was…they hated themselves but projected it out onto others and the world…some were able to turn their lives around and others well it didn't end well for them….you are still breathing…you have a shot at salvaging what is left of your life…if you don't like people get a pet, learn to take care of something other than yourself that needs you…it does wonders….
Chin up…learn what gratitude is…take on the challenge of life in a cruel world but has nooks and crannies of beauty kindness and love….