Top Ten List: Letterman is Shitting in His Depends…
(hear this in Letterman's voice)
#10: Trump Actually Won the Election
#9: Dave's Predilection for Children
#8: Dave's Hush Money Got Snagged by E.O. Signed on 12/21/17
#7: NBC and CBS Claim Letterman Never Worked There
#6: Stupid Human "Tricks" (i.e.: paid hookers and kids)
#5: He's really old
#4: Reaction to mild Mexican food
#3: His great nephew pulled his finger
#2: Self-defense While in Same Cell at GITMO with W
#1: Stupid Pet Tricks (see #6)