To be perfectly honest, I'm well into the category of not caring at all anymore. That is either a sign that something is finally about to break, or on a spiritual level I am being told there is no hope for this world. To move on. Go some place where I can be useful. It feels like that calm people often describe when they accept their inevitable demise. The struggle is over.
Because we can't dox ourselves, you have no idea how long I have been in this fight, what I have done that directly connects to what Q has laid out as the underpinning of this grand scale problem. I did my part, without handlers, and that effort will live on. My time is short. I was hoping I would have yet more to do, and was very willing beginning in late 2017. Now though, after so long of nothing happening. Time after time of broken promises, shit piled on top of shit, the worst of the worst surfacing, and no response by our great military who "have it all." Sure, send our best over to a foreign land to die on their soil, for freedoms they barely comprehend. Here? Nothing.
I'm so better than all of this horseshit. So above it. It has begun to embarrass me that I live at this time, in this country, knowing what I know, what we know, and we're told to do nothing but fumfer about on our keyboards. I can't help but think cowards are in control. Afraid to pull the damn trigger. Optics bla bla. I am sick of these very thoughts. The idea of our hands being tied by cowards is the worst thought imaginable, yet in this day and age it is entirely possible.
Every day without anything significant happening is another nail in my own coffin. So be it. I've done enough. My effort will live on. Would be nice to do more, but caring one way or the other is the problem. Problem is I care too much. Being chained down by cowards in my own country is a devastating feeling. Just one thing! One arrest! Something! I'm done with carrots dangled in front of me. I'm better than this, as are many of us.
On the anniversary of D-Day I'm having these thoughts! It's humiliating! We're so much better than this nothing happening crap!