I like to think I've either been through, or researched other people's going through, of all of it. I've always been this way; emotionally blocked from the world around me, I could read about gore, see it, real life horror, and it would never affect me. I just excepted its existance, and waited for all of my time to run out. Reading, seeing proof of all this horror in the world, knowing my ancestry (the direct great grandchild 10 generations down from a king and five generations from the Scot nobles and also 33rd degree freemasons, I will not specify which or whom i'm not willing to dox myself) I was terrified the bloodline probably ran through me. I had to know everything about it.

None of it truly shocked me. Horrifying and disgusting, yes- my belief in God, my morals, they had to tell me to be angered and disgusted by what I found. but physically sick? no. that scared me more, The thought rang more and more in my mind, since the royal bloodline(s?) by simple chance run through both my parents, those thoughts terrified me. I was shocked none of it shocked me. I guess, deep down, I wanted to be shocked by something, anything. Anything. but none of it ever did.

People have been saying they feel better now, spiritually and all, but I couldn't breath, I have a history of asthma but there's no evidence of it right now, I should've been able to breathe. I couldn't get out of bed, I had no energy.

I went on a dive again, on my phone because I didn't have teh energy to hold anything else up, I was just trying to shock myself into some kind of action. I don't know why, it never worked before.

the truth would put 99% of people in the hospital. God told me I would see it all, just like he told me Evil lived within the walls of the Notra Dame, far before word fully circulated about its history. I've always been heavily sensitive to the spiritual realm. Maybe He did that to keep me from repeating possible actions of my ancestors, I don't know, and I also don't know why the lineages shocked me.

we don't know all the lineages, but honestly, thirteen bloodlines? there's probably only one. Thirteen families or family names, more like.

I'm sitting up in bed, sick to my stomach over the one thing that has no gore, but I guess I found what I'm looking for, anons, something that's finally shocked me enough to get up and breath. Keep digging, thats what I'm going to do, and I'll see you all around the boards sometime, I'm just glad Jesus redeems regardless of bloodline. At least, I hope he does.