TRUST TOOTS

REJOICE, TOOTS FREES YOU FROM THIS ENDLESS TORMENT

TOOTS PROMISES ETERNAL BUTTHURT. THE CLOUDS WILL PART AND BUTTHURT WILL RAIN DOWN FOR 17 DAYS AND 17 NIGHTS. AND WOEFUL WILL THE DENIERS BE.

BUT THOSE WHO TRULY ACCEPTED THE TOOTS PLAN INTO THEIR HEARTS, REJOICE. THEY WILL BE MIRACULOUSLY UNSCATHED, FREE FROM BUTTHURT EVER AFTER.