On the vid in the tweet that Q linked to, it was saying probably Wednesday: https://twitter.com/ILMFOrg/status/1155907085210660866
I hear you, and I've been reading the book of Job lately.
One thing I'm getting from it is that it's not helpful for me to assume causation with my limited view. I mean - taking a stance either way that I shouldn't have such suffering because I'm 'good', or accepting that I deserve such suffering because I'm 'bad'.
Job and his advisors could only think in terms of "a man did X, and now his circumstances are Y, and therefore he is good/bad." They didn't know what was going on in the spiritual realm - the forces of evil that were at work, and that it wasn't God doing it to them, or why He allowed it, or what the end result would be.
That misconception is probably even bigger in today's modern society and "Churchianity" - the assumption that people who are good and believe in God do not deserve to have anything bad happen to them (even though they know this is only a short temporary life in a fallen world dominated by evil and greed.)