"So this is what Carlin felt like".
Today I had to journey into the matrix. Christmas in a big city. An event. Hundreds of people. I just feel upset and alone in a crowd. They're so simplistic in a way. Obsessed with taking the perfect selfie. Hearing the drama created in their lives in conversation. Seeing how asleep they all are. I'm not better than anyone. But awareness can be a bitch.
What is it going to take and when is it going to take place? I've lost enjoyment in almost everything. Knowing its comped in some form. My life has been completely altered. And I'm fine with it. My problem is every day I awake with the devil still running the earth, I cant rest. I cant enjoy anything. I cant just be. God needs the win before I can release this anxiety. And watching people…its like they want to stay willfully ignorant.
I said to myself today "this is what Carlin must of felt like".