TYB
Even if pertinent to our field of study here?
5:5 It is going to take some serious composition and reflection. I've never told anyone. It involves my very first days online. 1990's. Probably won't get posted tonight. But I promise to return and put it up for all to see. Scary as hell.
There are no links. Only my personal eyewitness testimony.
“Must I at length the Sword of Justice draw?
Oh curst Effects of necessary Law!
How ill my Fear they by my Mercy scan,
Beware the Fury of a Patient Man.”
― John Dryden, Absalom and Achitophel
OK, composing now.
I'll do my best.
Working on it now. Unless this bread jumps into hyperspace I will post it here.
I've never told anyone this. I do need to get it off my chest. And if you think I am making this up you can flat out fuck off.
It was about 1996? Give or take a year. I was all hyped about having internet access. I've always been kind of a science nerd. So I was real excited about having personal access in my home to this new communication technology. I think my provider was AOL, maybe Earthlink. Don't quite rememner which. Probably AOL.
I also found out I had this thing called email. Wow! I had my own address. Here I am. I've arrived. A citizen of the internet with my own mailbox out front.
The only people I knew to email were my parents. That's it. So they had my email address. To my knowledge, at the time, no one else had it. At least no one else did that I knew of. I had probably not even sent or received but a couple of messages back and forth with the folks. Both dead now, by the way. Each lived to a ripe old age. May God rest their souls.
So every day after work I would get home wondering if I had a new email. I would check most days and find nothing. Remember this was a brand new toy for me and I really was wound up about it. My spirits would soon become extremely dampened.
Maybe two weeks into this new adventure I got home from work and fired up the machine. I waited while while the modem whistled and pinged as the connection was made. I opened my email page and discovered that I had a new email. I remember now. It was AOL. Because I heard the "you've got mail" announcement. Earthlink didn't do that. I don't think so anyway.
I'm all giddy and I open the email. An email unlike any that I have ever seen since. Thank God.
The first thing that jumped out at me was the black background of the message. The second was the occult icongraphy. I had studied, and already read quite a few books on the subject, at that point. Including, but not limited to, "The Secret Teachings of All Ages". So my eye knew what it was seeing. I was shocked before I even began to read the message.
Now I want to clarify here that I do have pretty much a photographic memory. And a pretty goood memory for text that I have read as well. Both seem to be failing me a bit here. Perhaps for psychological reasons of self suppression and fear. Perhaps my age is a factor as well. But I do remember. And if someone showed me this email again I could probably say yes, that is it. I don't want to see it again.
So I will paraphrase what the email said. My retelling is true to the spirit and intention of the message. If not the exact words.
The email basically wanted me to acknowledge and worship Satan. It wanted me to reply to the message in the affirmative. It made all sorts of wild promises if I did so.
For a few moments I froze like a deer in the headlights. Then I made the only rational sane decision that a truly believing baptised CHristian should make. I deleted the son of a bitch.
After a few weeks I stopped thinking about it every day. It was not easy though. I prayed and kept it a secret from the world until tonight. I did not even tell my common law spouse of the oppostie sex.
As you probably can tell, it really, really, bothered me. Evil intruded into my brave new world. I've never looked at the internet in quite the same way ever since.
I kind of want someone else to chime in and say "Oh yeah, I got that one too". I wonder if anyone will. That would probably make me feel better. I don't know. It might make feel worse. I really don't believe my parents had anything to do with this. I hope I'm right.
But why just the one time? I've received a fucking metric shit ton of spam. Nothing like this. Why the very first one? I don't want to say it. But I consider it an omen. And given what we are seeing today……
I think you get the picture. Or at least my picture.
Clinton was President.
Also, it was a very long time before I ever received another "spam" message. And none have been even close to the tone and tenor of that one. I'm not buying your explanation. Although I do appreciate your reply.
That is exactly what I am saying.
Thank you and God Bless (You) Anon.
grilling strippers?
This bread this anon finally feels like he belongs.
I feel a whole lot better having told the board. Something about two or more in his name I think.Kept that one inside for 23 years?
Prayer works for me. I always pray in Christ's name. And I give in secret. Faith was a long struggle and it is the one thing that we bring to the table. Faith is not such a struggle anymore. Once you have witnessed multiple miracles then denial is an impossibility. So long as you are honest with yourself, that is. The power of the spoken word must be fully understood also. Never say hate. Say do not care for. I believe that intercessory prayer is the most powerful, honest, and least selfish. Especially when done in secret. These are my training techniques.
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Do so in secret.
I'm not going to sleep until this bread is full.