It’s going to Biblical all right.
Notable.
Part 1/3
RETRANSLATION of Joel 1:1-9 from Ancient Paleo Hebrew.
Joel 1:1-9
1:1 The Word of Yehovah that was set upon Joel, son of Pethuel.
1:2 Disseminate this information to every living soul upon the Earth from the oldest and wisest to the youngest babe. Speak of it, ponder it. Let it haunt you. For, Lo, this thing of desolation came upon your forefathers from long ago and is now set upon YOU! And, it shall come even again.
1:3 Recount, declare, and diligently inscribe this [thing of desolation] year after year, generation after generation. Even mark this year [Hebrew year] as the beginning of its revolution of time for its circular path, [its orbit], goes beyond time (meaning its orbit is hundreds of years, far beyond the lifespan of people born after the flood).
*1:4 For each new generation’s knowledge of this desolate thing will fade more and more, generation after generation, until it be [eaten away] and no more in remembrance.
1:5 It will come upon you suddenly and ye shall spend the Summer Harvest tipsy and stagger as a drunkard though ye had no drink. Certainly, everyone will be sprayed with blood coming down from above. For flesh shall be cut and trampled as trodden grapes to the sound of music (the sound of enormous Auroras Borealis banding the entire Earth) and then blown away to the corners of the Earth (as the Earth tilts toward the strong magnetic pole of this incoming planet/comet).
1:6 You will see a massive body [in the sky] ascending on high from Yehovah coming toward/upon the Earth. It is mighty in power and its claws do break the bones and cause eyes to shut. This [body/object] is nameless and is an Island of Oblivion. Recount and declare its innumerable pointed teeth (contrails crossing paths in the sky creating intersecting lines which look like sharp pointed teeth to observers on the ground) that [shower] violence and destruction in silence, without sound (as a thief ??).
1:7 All will be heaped up in an intertwined indiscernible mess that shall utterly stupefy and bring to petrifying amazement all who behold it. It (this Island of Oblivion) shall burst out in rage upon its approach. It shall [freeze] and crack the bark off of the trees before the trees, themselves, are plucked up and hurled and twisted by its tendrils. They (the trees) are made white and hard as bricks (meaning, the trees are flash frozen by approx. 300 mph Arctic winds).
1:8 Bewail and lament, curse and swear, oh, ye harlot daughter. Though ye gird yourself with armor on every side, you shall piss your clothes when you see that you have been tracked as prey from afar. You shall go down to your graves with burning fire from above just like that [fire] which consumed the servants of Ba’al.
1:9 The sacrificial offerings and your idols and molten images shall be cut down, chewed up, and destroyed to the sound of My (Yehovah’s) music. Only My Temple, the House of the Lord, shall be saved from the Breath of Yehovah. Every breath of the Lord’s ministers and priests shall become mourning and wailing as they cry out to the Lord.