Here is the ‘secret’ - Jesus is in you. Get in the word. Nowhere in the Bible does it talk about ‘how you feel’ with God. He is. He is always working, whether you feel it or not.
Darkness cannot be defeated by light. Fill your brain with the Word. Read all of Ephesians. YOU have the power in you by the Holy Spirit. The devil comes to destroy, steal and kill. God has great plans for you- He loves you. Right where you are. Prayers for you. Armor of God.