Oh no! America is doomed! How will our country survive without it's spiritual mother, the ever saintly Madonna?
https://twitter.com/GovMikeHuckabee/status/1213881173329485824
Transcript of Gervais at Golden Globes. This is not full, but has all the good parts.
GERVAIS: Hello and welcome to the 77th Annual Golden Globe Awards live from the Beverly Hilton Hotel here in Los Angeles. I’m Ricky Gervais, thank you. You’ll be pleased to know this is the last time I’m hosting these awards, so I don’t care anymore. I’m joking, I never did. NBC clearly don’t care either. Fifth time. I mean Kevin Hart was fired from the Oscars because of some offensive tweets. Hello [points at himself]. Lucky for me, the Hollywood Foreign Press can barely speak English and they’ve no idea what Twitter is, so I got offered this gig by fax.
So, let’s go out with a bang, let’s have a laugh at your expense, shall we? Remember, they’re just jokes, we’re all gonna die soon and there’s no sequel. But, you all look lovely, you came here in your limos. I came in a limo and the license plate was made by Felicity Huffman. So, no, it’s her daughter I feel sorry for. That must be the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to her and her dad was in 'Wild Hoggs.'
Lots of big celebrities are here tonight, I mean legends, icons. At this table alone Al Pacino, Robert Deniro, Baby Yoda. Oh, that’s Joe Pesce, sorry. I love you man, don’t have me whacked.
But tonight isn’t just about the people in front of the camera, in this room are some of the most important film and t.v. executives in the world, people from every background, but they all have something in common. They're all terrified of Ronan Farrow. He’s coming for you. He’s coming for you. Look, talking about all you perverts, it was a big year for pedophile movies “Surviving R. Kelly,” “Leaving Neverland,” “Two Popes.” Shut up, shut up, I don’t care, I don’t care.
Many talented people of color were snubbed in major categories. Unfortunately, there’s nothing we can do about that, the Hollywood Foreign press are all very very racist, so, fifth time, so we were going to do an 'In Memoriam' this year, but when I saw the list of people that had died it wasn’t diverse enough, it just, no, it was mostly white people and I thought nah, not on my watch. Maybe next year, let’s see what happens.
No one cares about movies anymore. No one goes to the cinema. No one really watches network t.v. Everyone’s watching Netflix. This show should just be me coming out going, “Well done Netflix, you win, everything, good night.” But, no we got to drag it out for three hours.
You could binge watch the entire first season of Afterlife instead of watching this show. That’ s a show about a man who wants to kill himself because his wife dies of cancer and it’s still more fun than this. Spoiler alert, Season 2 is on the way, so he obviously didn’t kill himself, just like Jeffrey Epstein. Shut up, I know he’s your friend, but I don’t care. You had to make your own way here in your own plane didn’t you, right?
Their job isn’t acting anymore, it’s going to the gym and taking steroids. Have we got an award for most ripped junkie? No, no point, we know who’d win that.
Martin Scorsese, the greatest living director, made the news for his controversial comments about Marvel movies. He said they’re not real cinema and they remind him of theme parks, although I don’t know what he’s doing hanging around theme parks, he’s not big enough to go on the rides. He’s tiny.
The Irishman was amazing, long but amazing. It’s wasn’t the only epic movie. Once Upon a Time in in Hollywood, nearly three hours long. Leonardo DiCaprio attended the premiere and by the end his date was too old for him. Even Prince Andrew’s like, come on Leo mate, you’re nearly 50 son.
The world got to see James Cordon as a fat pussy. He was also in the movie Cats, but no one saw that. And the reviews, I saw one that said this is the worst thing to happen to Cats since Dogs. Dame Judy Dench defended the film saying it was the role she was meant to play because she loves nothing better than plunking herself down on the carpet, lifting her leg and licking her own [?pussy]. [He coughs] Fur ball, fur ball. She’s old school. It’s the last time, who cares.
Apple roared in to the t.v. game with a morning show, a superb drama, yeah. A superb drama about the importance of dignity and doing the right thing, made by a company that runs sweat shops in China. So, well, you say your woke, but the companies you work for, I mean unbelievable, Apple, Amazon, Disney. If ISIS started a streaming service, you’d call your agent, wouldn’t’ you?
So, if you do win an award tonight, don’t use it as a platform to make a political speech, right. You’re in no position to lecture the public about anything. You know nothing about the real world. Most of you spent less time in school than Greta Thunberg. So, if you win, come up, accept your little award, thank your agent and your god and fuck off…"