"During its forensic examination of Burisma's internal servers, Burisma-commissioned electronic security expert Crowdstrike found what it called 'Russian electronic fingerprints' indicating that a notorious Russian Hacker known as 'Fuzzie Pusze' more likely than not left a 'Deep Fake' video depicting Hunter Biden snorting a white powdery substance off of an unclothed and prone ginger-haired woman's mons venus.
"When asked for a comment about the report, U.S. Presidential candidate Joe Biden snapped at the reporter: "Are you serious? Come on man, do your job! The entire story smells awfully fishy to me!"