Oh hi, I'm Satan, err- Santa.

I break into your home once a year to drop shit off that your kids most likely don't deserve. It's cool though I got elves that I enslave to do the work for me, this belly ain't gonna feed itself ya know! Ho ho ho.

Some of you parents are quite sick leaving coal for your kids. It wasn't me, I don't do that shit, too much liability you crazy fucks. I'm just a made up story anyways, why would I want children to praise their parents for gifts when they can worship me instead! Muahaha err- ho ho ho!

If Santa doesn't exist then what was there to worship in the first place you ask? A similar idea that many of you mortals call Communism. But hey, I'm just an idea, you can always tell me to fuck off. Will you though? Can you forget an idea? Am I influential AF? Hells yeah I am. I guess if you forgot me I'd stop existing but I'm in everything ho ho ho, that's Satan.