Satan absolutely exists. This is lies. Demons are absolutely real, and most likely getting you to think and write these things. I've experienced them.
Our daily bread is the Eucharist, basic shelter and food… those things we need to live.
Get into the church, a Latin Mass if you can, stop sinning, confess your sins and receive the rest of the sacraments. Live a Christian life as best as you possibly can. The purpose of life is to love and serve God. If you're fighting evil, then you're part way there. Go the rest of the way.