My path.

I used to be a happy go lucky person who was admired and loved by many people. I would always put myself over other people by judging them in any way I could. Maybe they were too fat, maybe they were too ugly, but my biggest "pet peeve" was when people were too serious about life and critical of others openly.

I would look at people like that and think "wow, what a garbage human, good thing I never do that". and other ego stroking things like that.

My other "pet peeve" was seeing people my age accidentally getting their girlfriends pregnant and having to live with their consequences.

I said to myself "wow, those people are so stupid, why would they do such a thing." and other things like THAT to stroke my ego.

"I''m so much better than them"

"How stupid could they be? good thing I'M not stupid."

Then one day I went to school and met this beautiful girl. She was everything I wanted in a woman. Kind, sweet, and pretty but this came with a catch. She was very religious and so was her family.

There's a whole amazing story behind this girl and myself, but I'll make it short by saying that we started having sex, but we didn't ever have protection on us "because we were better than having sex". Every time I would go over to her house we would both put on the mask of "we're not going to have sex", but because we were attracted to eachother so much we always ended up doing it.

This girl was very innocent, and I thought she didn't understand what cum was, so when we would have sex I would purposely give myself blue balls as to not freak her out. (This is the level of religiousness I'm talking about).

But as you can probably figure, these situations let to what outcome afterall? Getting pregnant.

I was so disapointed in myself and so scared of what was to come. I thought god had abandoned me, or was playing some awful joke.

I had to accept it. I was now what I once thought was so stupid.

(TO BE CONTINUED)

I could hardly live with myself. I beat myself up over how stupid I was. I thought that her family would hate me for indoctrinating her. I tried going around pointing blame on everything other than me.

Her, Her religion, Her parents for not raising her "normally", everything and anything I could think of to blame… Other than myself…

We ended up getting married and had our beautiful child. We lived in a completely different state. I moved there to marry her and raise our child. My car had just broken down, so instead of driving out there with my car, I ended up selling everything I owned and moving to the state with one carryon.

I became a shell of myself. I believed that her family hated me, so I became distant from them, never making conversation. In reality, they never hated me, but I projected that thought onto them from my psyche.

After awhile I started to long for the happy go lucky version of me, but I for some reason couldn't be that way anymore. I was always judging other people for their beliefs contrary to mine, looks contrary to mine, attitudes contrary to mine.

Then I found Q.

I realized that this was real. I saw how Q was trying to "take out the deep state". I knew all the Q proofs by heart and started telling everyone I knew about it.

I made my facebook posts public and started memeing away. Sending my opinions of what I thought was so true to everyone and anyone. Anyone who combated me was either an idiot or a shill.

I then started to peel back some layers that made me believe Q was something to be feared.

I looked through the Jew stuff and even though I never had absolute proof played out before my own eyes, I believed through circumstantial evidence that the Jews were behind everything. If you fought me on my stance, then you were either an idiot or a shill.

I looked through Gematria. This further established my belief system that jews were behind everything bad.

I saw the symbolism that freemasons and other "secret society" groups used and didn't understand it. Because I didn't understand it, it was scary to me. I became fixated on figuring out what this symbolism really meant.

(TO BE CONTINUED)

>>8057461

I could never figure it out. It was something I didn't understand, but I JUST KNEW it had to be bad, because after all, the people who used it were presented to me as "child rapists, satan worshipers, horrible people".

I was addicted to picking every part of the BAD ACTORS apart. It became all I did, all I talked about.

In my circles, I became known as the anti semite, the conspiracy theorist, the horrible person. I further alienated myself from people, because I thought "wow, everyone other than me is so fucking stupid, there is no one smarter than me. The problem was, I really had no concrete, absolute, complete truth that anything I was spouting out as truth was 100% truth.

I looked further into Gematria and saw that the Jews kept coding "New world order" and "end of the world" and things like that into the headlines and I became frightened.

I saw myself as the only good, smart person against the entire world and there was nothing I could do to stop the world from ending.

I stopped looking into conspiracies completely and began focusing on God as a way to cope with my absolute consuming fear. I thought the Jews were going to start another communist revolution and I was going to get my throat slit in front of my family for my beliefs, but at least I would be a Martyr.

I got a little gumption up and started to research conspiracies again. This time it was Tartaria stuff & the whole flat earth thing. I looked into resets of civilization and had a whole new level of fear.

"Look at all these people who are way more awful than I doing these things to all these poor innocent idiots" "They killed the people who created these great architectural feats of glory, and all we are as a human race is idiots. Gullible idiots.

I avoided everything for awhile, but eventually opened up again and saw people talking about some elitests who host a "hunger games" around Halloween.

I started to research it more, and the more I looked into it, the more unrealistic the story got. This was a real website which had supposedly real reviews from "elites" on how good the people were. I looked at the comments and saw all of the people either in sadness or horror a complete "us vs them" stand point.

I had the thought "What if all this stuff about pedophelia isn't real, and it's a belief system passed onto us to boost our own egos."

(TO BE CONTINUED)

>>8057487

My mind went wild, but eventually I gave into the fear again and stopped, but only for a few days.

One day, I simply genuinely asked god (YHVH as I call him "yahchua") to send me truth. No more than an hour later I was on youtube (as I am all the time either immersing myself in pc parts or conspiracies) and was recommended to a channel with only 168 subs. I listened and was amazed, because his entire channel is dedicated to showing you how and why people are functioning from an ego state and I (and you and everyone you know).

I almost clicked away from his channel because the way in which he teaches is rather in your face and I attributed that as too abrasive (so subconsciously I could see myself as better and justify moving on and discrediting his information).

But I started to let my ego go, because I could see what he was teaching, why he did it the way he did, and I started to realize through his channel how Duality runs our world, our egos and everything.

I couldn't express in sentences the way I felt then, but what I was doing was instead of looking outward and crafting myself as this great, smart person with the context of everyone else being so stupid, I was looking inward and seeing that all these judgements I'm putting on people were projections of a side of myself I couldn't see. I was protecting my own ego by putting everyone else down.

You don't realize how many times a day you do this until you can catch yourself doing it.

After immersing myself into that way of thinking for a few days, I was through chance or fate, or whatever you want to called it was directed to a video called "the joker by alan watts"

And my entire foundation was cracked.

I was able to look in the MIRROR and reflect that I was PROJECTING the "bad" half of myself onto others. Through alan watts, I realized how our universe down to atoms works in duality.

All we as humans do all our lives is jump between a red pillAR or a blue pillAR, never realizing that there is a middle path of harmoniousness.

I had the sudden and MASSIVE realization that I couldn't go back to my "happy go lucky" self because I was projecting onto everyone else "you hate me, but I'm right, and that's strength."

I was so afraid that people wouldn't like me that I put on a mask. I hid my happy go lucky side from the world because I convinced myself that I was unlikeable, but through that unlikeability I realized I was smart and could articulate an argument to make someone else seem wrong at will.

(TO BE CONTINUED)

>>8057503

All of a sudden, I realized that the myself I saw in the mirror was only a role, and that deep down I had a soul, just the same as everyone and because of that realization I was no better than anyone else, and no one else was better than I. Anyone who didn't like me, only didn't like me because they were comparing me to themselves through an ego lense. I was suddenly free.

When you explore that more, you realize that the entire universe works because of this duality, but there is a middle path. You can read the bible and understand, you can read hindu texts and understand, you can follow buddah and understand.

You then realize that you need both sides of yourself to function harmoniously. For me it was realizing that I can be a happy go lucky person, while also being a smart person at the same time. All throughout my life I was either happy, but stupid or smart, but unloveable.

There must be suffering for there to be happiness. There must be day for there to be light, there must be sound silence for there to be sound, there has to be up for there to be down. This goes down to the very fabric of existence.

Freemasons, high up politicians, tons of Jews and many more are the people who understand, there must be context created for humanity to judge itself off of, otherwise there would be no existence at all.

Q is in a form "calling out the deep state" but in reality he's PLEADING with you to look inward and realize all of this is a big show.

"This is a show"

"Think Mirror"

"Enjoy the Show"

"In Theaters Now"

"What is Projection"

"Pull the Curtain Back"

You're all too busy searching for boogey men outside of yourself because you're so convinced that you're the "Good Guy" and the "person who is right"

The Great Awakening is taking the middle path between the red pillAR and the blue pillAR. Putting a leash on your ego and through fundamental truth navigating existence and seeing that you are no better than anyone or no worse than anyone and if you have a thought that you are, it's your ego talking. Likewise if someone thinks they're better than you, that's their ego talking.

Your Ego isn't real, but it's what you use to control yourself, and what you use to identify yourself.

Q is trying to shake you awake from your slumber and get you to realize that all these people who are "child pedos" and "dem idiots" are really not that, and you're fed that information to feed your ego.

It's my belief at this point that we're getting ready to go into a golden age where I hope everyone can leash their egos and work together, settling their differences by taking the middle path.

Watch Jesus of Nazareth

Read the Bible

Study Buddah

Studdy Hinduism

Listen to Alan Watts

Then realize that there is nothing to fear but fear itself.

Order by Chaos.

You must have both.

Self reflection is the key to understanding Q, Freemasonry

(FIN)