erhmahgurd
it's hiram abiff
dirty launderings
>>8269558
>>8269539
>>8269473
FLAT FARTS
>>8269465
>>8269443
>>8269411
>>8269315
>>>8269282 (You)
>>>>8269257 (You)
>>>>>8269237 (You)
FART KNOCKER
>>>>>8269237 (You)
IS ACTIVATED
<FART KNOCKER ACTIVE ALERT ANONS
>>YUGE CLASS 5 FART KNOCKER ALERT ANONS
<FARTS THAT KNOCK
>WE MUST PRAY TO CHEEZUS IT IS JUST AN ALERT AND NOT A FULL BLOWN FART KNOCKER
>>8269282 (You)
>>>8269257 (You)
>>>>8269237 (You)
>>>FART KNOCKER
>>>>8269237 (You)
>>> IS ACTIVATED
>>FART KNOCKER ACTIVE ALERT ANONS
>YUGE CLASS 5 FART KNOCKER ALERT ANONS
<FARTS THAT KNOCK
WE MUST PRAY TO CHEEZUS IT IS JUST AN ALERT AND NOT A FULL BLOWN FART KNOCKER
HOLY SHIT ANONS FART KNOCKER ALER CLASS 5 FARTS THAT KNOCK
LET US HOPE IT IS ONLY BUTTSTUFF
DIRTY DIRTY BUTTSTUFF SWAMPGAS FROM BERLINERS MIT SAURKRAUTERS AUF DEM LEDERHOSEN
HE CAN ONLY HUFF SO MANY WET JOOOOSY FARTS IN THE LOCKER ROOM
HOW WILL WE KNOW WHEN THE JOOOSY FARTS WILL STOP SWAMPGASSING MIT SUARKRAUTERS AUF DEM LEDERHOSEN
WE ARE FIGHTING AS HARD AS WE CAN WITH PEANUT BUTTER MEMES OF SERIAL KILLERS
HOW DO WE GET OUT OF THIS GAS CHAMBER MENTALITY????
HOW DE WE GET WALRUS AND THE CARPENTER MARRIED SO THEY STOP TWISTING OUR KNOBS WITH JOOOOOSY LIES==?
>>8290051
erhmahgurd
it's hiram abiff
it seems
fame caused all these stupid bitches
thse zombies sure can "copy and paste"
is this that image board where faggots wanna put their had in your pocket and creepypasta with wiretaps for election shekels?
your mental illness is showing
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Keystone. This is the worst beer currently sold on American soil. It sits behind chilled glass in a convenience-store fridge like a dumb rebuke to the explosion of American beer variety all around it. In 1978 there were 89 breweries in the U.S.; today there are more than 2,400, and most of the new ones are better than most of the old ones. In 2013 craft beer is no longer the exclusive domain of West Coast weirdos and psychotic woodsmen. These fine days you can score Samuel Adams or Sierra Nevada at the least ambitious of convenience stores and Dogfish Head 90 Minute on the least reliable of trains. And then there is Keystone, which first appeared to the world in 1989, in Chico, Calif., home of the Sierra Nevada Brewing Company. Keystone separates itself from the rest of the crap pack by augmenting the typical stale/sour flavor profile with notes of brown bananas and green armpits. Keystone is worse than Heineken and murder.
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Bud Light Lime. When Anheuser-Busch spit this one out a few years ago it seemed like a pretty good idea, as terrible ideas go. The world never needs more flavors of Bud Light, but the popularity of the otherwise worthless Corona proves that folks love to limen up their beers. Barroom fruit is repulsive—ever think about where your lime's been before it lands in your drink? Nowhere nice—so if Bud Light Lime were any good at all, it would be a little leap forward. But alas, the alleged lime flavoring in no way resembles people food. Bud Light Lime tastes like green Froot Loops soaked in thigh sweat.
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Genesee Cream Ale. Man, do I want to like Genny Cream. Man, do I not like Genny Cream. I'm a sucker for old-timey regional budget brew, but this is awfully rough stuff. It doesn't even have the dignity to go down swinging with a signature blend of gross flavors, a la Keystone. Genny Cream is just the archetypal stale cardboard crud-juice.
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Rolling Rock. Smells like three fat guys in a two-man tent.
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Bud Light. Tastes like printer paper and often gives the impression of unfreshness, which is alarming given the high turnover. There's a very good chance you and Bud Light will join forces at some point over the holiday weekend, and that's all well and good, but please don't take it into the bathroom with you. I used to clean bar bathrooms, and an overwhelming majority of the bottles left in the john at the end of the night were Bud Light. Bud Light dudes are afraid of leaving their beer unattended, as if they have reason to worry about the fate of unattended beers. I suppose there's something apt about these beers ending the night on top of a urinal. It's like a little story about the nitrogen cycle.
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Busch. Aw, come on, Busch isn't so bad. Let's say you're a stepdad, probably named Ron, and you're a Bud man. Good living—until your Jet Ski needs a new fuel pump and you're fresh out of Jet Ski fuel-pump cash. You think you're fucked, but then you realize you can just step it down to Busch for a few weeks and bang, back in the lake. Now who's too cool for Busch?
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Keystone Light. Well I'll be damned if this isn't a marked improvement over regular Keystone. The rotting fruit and flesh are stripped away to leave a regular, boring light beer that's a viable option if you're looking to drink your way into Speedo shape one beer at a time.
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Schaefer. When I was a very young buck, the Patriots played in Schaefer Stadium. Now the stadium's better and so is the team, but I experience a rare wave of nostalgia when I think of the bygone era when the stadium was named for America's oldest lager and the tight ends didn't kill people.
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Pabst Blue Ribbon. It took me a few years to come around on PBR, probably because I was the sort of dipshit who worried about what message my beer was sending. Now that I'm liberated from such petty concerns, I can tell the world, "Hey, look at me spend $14 to get all-day drunk on clean, nondescript beer that tastes like Budweiser is supposed to."