Ok Anons, you fags will get a kek out of this
Thought about playing around with the voice record function, but tepid about it. So I hit on a plan - I decided to have a little fun with it. Went to one of the Wank Boards on 8kun and here is a script of the audio I dropped (in my best "Official Public Service Announcement" voice):
"Good evening, this is the National Security Agency. Our IP logging software indicates that you have not visited a pornographic website within the last 24 hours. Your mobile phone geo-locator shows that you have not made your customary long visits to your residence bathroom, and disturbingly, our listening devices have not detected the usual masturbation sounds.
Are you well? Please reply within the next 15 minutes; otherwise, we are required by law to request local law enforcement to conduct a welfare check at your home.
Thank you and have a pleasant evening."
>I'm still laughing