Grandson: Grandpa why did toilet paper go extinct?

 

Grandpa: Well you see, Grandson, there used to be a place called China

 

Grandson: Oh I’ve heard of that. That’s where the commiecrats lived, right?

 

Grandpa: You’re mixing up communists with democrats.

 

Grandson: What’s the difference?

 

Grandpa: One lies to you so they can steal everything you own, and the other does it behind the barrel of a gun.

 

Grandson: Oh, ok. So which one made all the toilet paper go away?

 

Grandpa: Both. Now listen. So anyway, in China there was a man who stopped by in the market one day to eat some bat soup.

 

Grandson: Ewww. Why would anyone eat bat soup?

 

Grandpa: Because leftist will eat their own shit and call it progress, so a bat is like delicacy to them.

 

Grandson: I’m sure glad President Trump got rid of those people.

 

Grandpa: Me too. If he hadn’t have, you would’ve most likely been aborted and added as secret sauce to a Big Mac.

 

Grandson: What’s a Big Mac.

 

Grandpa: A type of poison that used to sell in a restaurant. Supposedly, even bat soup had more vitamins and minerals in it.

Grandson: So what happened to the man who at the bat soup? Was he the one who made toilet paper go extinct?

 

Grandpa: Sort of, in a round about way. You see this particular bat soup wasn’t cooked right or maybe the bat was rotten, who knows? Whatever the case, the man got sick and he started coughing all over the place. Then other people started coughing too. Coughing on airplanes, coughing on trains, and even on a cruise ships. The worse affected were the celebrities and Iranian parliament members.

 

Grandson: Grandpa, that doesn’t make any sense. How did one bowl of “bat soup” get people to cough on boats, and make celebrities and Iranian parliament members sick?

 

Grandpa: How the hell should I know? I’m just trying to tell you the story that was told to me by the Fake News. Because back in those days, not everyone knew about /qresearch/ like today. We used to get our news from people wearing make up on studio sets with bright stage lights.

 

Grandson: <rolls eyesSounds like a clown show, Grandpa.

 

Grandpa: Exactly. And back then the clowns told everyone, that because of this guy who had a bad case of bat soup, he started to spread this thing called corona virus.

 

Grandson: But Grandpa, Corona is the name of the beer my dad drinks. Not a virus. Your story sounds made up, Grandpa. Stop being silly, and tell me the truth.

 

Grandpa: I am telling the truth!

 

Grandson: Ok, but what does this have to do with toilet paper?

 

Grandpa: You see, the clowns, as you correctly called them, told everyone that they were going to die from the virus and the only way to protect themselves was to buy toilet paper –

 

Grandson: Okay, okay, Grandpa. I think I’ve heard enough. I like your stories, they are really funny and all, but I was hoping you could tell me the REAL story.

 

Grandpa: <sigh>….