Brit Hume is such a fucking boomer holy kek.
Listen here Jack, I'm gonna set you straight. I'll only say this once so listen up, Fat. This virus isn't going anywhere. Let me repeat myself, this virus isn't going anywhere. Back in my day we didn't call it covid whatever; we called it the "Shanghai Shivers". OK, here's the deal, Slick. I used to know a guy, went by the name Cornflake Jackson. Ol' Cornflake used to play guitar down at the pool hall. He caught the Shanghai Shivers one year and let me tell you, if Cornflake Jackson says, "It ain't no thang" you can take that to the bank, Buckaroo. That's how I know you're full of shit. I'd punch your daughter straight in the mouth.
>>be me
>>minding own business in the sun
>>hairy legs turn blond
>>out of nowhere, Corn Pop!
>>asks why my son got paid $17 million by Burisma
>>i grab my trusty pool chain, it's whippin' time
>>swing chain with all my might
>>Corn Pop dodges and asks how me telling ukraine to shut down investigation into son is different than what we are trying to impeach orange menace for
>>now listen'ere fatso
>>Corn Pop is triggered, gets down on belly
>>oh shit, pushup contest to restore honor
>>Corn Pop pulls out Stanford-Binet
>>oh shit, iq test time
>>imma get you now Corn Pop!
>>try to do pushup, break blood vessel in eye
>>can't see shit and can't to do iq test
>>get up and sniff little girls head instead
>>corn pop gives up, must have friendship ritual
>>rubs hair on leg, mesmerized by the whiteness
>>I leave with my pride intact and go stack spaghetti sauce at the supermarket
>>Corn Pop dies
>>Damn you Corn Pop!