executive assistants = sex slaves
Could be shills. But it also seems like the summer time when kids home from school were trying to be edgy. Seems like a mix of shills, edgy kids, and wanna be insightful soccer moms.
"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's razor
Of course there are shills, I can't identify them though. They just seem like dumb kids to me - probably the same IQ to be honest.
Not sure about caves but that's basically the Appalachian Trail. I know a lot of people go missing in national parks.