Just because I care about people–even "bad" ones–and because it's so painful to watch, I feel slightly obligated to tell you that you a dumping a lot of energy into one of the least effective shill tactics ever.
I'm not going to help you shill, but I will give you a slight hint: motivation. No one objective is going to find a sensible motivation in your tactic thst does not scream "paid for his time."
I'll let you work it out from there. But, if you're going to shill, we'd kind of appreciate a more creative, less intellectually insulting approach. This is not the comment section of Yahoo! News.