i can;t believe lucifer tricked me into doing all that ghey shit for jesus
i'm thinking about your creamy homo larps too
choosey hobbits choose jiff
the only thing that goes well with buttjoos is peanut butter glory holes
>ghey shit for jesus
i larped and larped and larped
it was like the peanut butter that never ended
as danielfaggot
my birth right is to larp
and help pedovores change their names to jews in the news
and peanut butter glory holes
where did it go wrong
on the way to mordor
DeNiL
rub some peanut butter on your ghey?
i can;t believe how ghey of a danielfaggot devil
it wants its precious
stale homos
take your precious to mordor
They're thieves! They're thieves! They're filthy little thieves! Where is it? Where is it? They stole it from us, our precious. Curse them! WE hates them! it's ours it is, and we wants it! We wants it, we needs it. Must have the precious. They stole it from us. Sneaky little hobbitses. Wicked, tricksy, false!
Yes precious. First they cheat you, hurt you, LIE.
You don't have any friends, nobody likes you!
Gollum:
You're a liar and a thief.
Smeagol:
No!
Gollum:
Murderer.
Smeagol:
Go away!
Gollum:
Go away?
Smeagol:
I hate you, I hate you.
Gollum:
Where would you be without me? Gollum! Gollum saved us! It was me! We survived because of me!
Smeagol:
Not anymore.
Gollum:
What did you say?
Smeagol:
Master looks after us now, we don't need you anymore. Leave now and never come back!
Gollum:
What?
Smeagol:
LEAVE NOW AND NEVER COME BACK!
Smeagol:
LEAVE NOW AND NEVER COME BACK!
Smeagol:
We told him to go away… and away he goes! Gone, gone, gone! Smeagol is free!
“Clever Hobbits, to climb so high!”
“[mocking] Oo-hoo-hoo-hoo…”
“Smeagol lied.”
“Sneaking? Sneaking? Fat Hobbit is always so polite. Smeagol shows them secret ways that nobody else could find, and they say “sneak!” Sneak? Very nice friend. Oh, yes, my precious. Very nice, very nice.”
“Sneaking.”
“They cursed us. Murderer they called us. They cursed us, and drove us away. And we wept, Precious, we wept to be so alone. And we only wish to catch fish so juicy sweet. And we forgot the taste of bread… the sound of trees… the softness of the wind. We even forgot our own name. My Precious.”
“She’s always hungry. She always needs to feed. She must eat. All she gets is
“And they doesn’t taste very nice, does they, Precious?”
“No. Not very nice at all, my love.”
“Wake up. Wake up. Wake up, sleepies. We must go, yeeees, we must go at once.”
“Come on! We must go, no time!”
“[impatiently] No time to lose, silly!”
“[in a panic] Not that way! Oh! What’s he doing?”
“Pull it in. Go on. Go on. Go on. Pull it in.”
“We’re not in decent places.”
“[singing] Naughty little fly. Why does he cry? Caught in a web. Soon you’ll be… eaten.”
“For us.”
“Yes, we… we meant for us.”
“Never! Smeagol wouldn’t hurt a fly!”
“Wake up. Wake up. Wake up, sleepies. We must go, yeeees, we must go at once.”
“We must go.”
“No time to lose, silly.”
“Give us that, Deagol my love.”
“Because it’s my birthday, and I wants it.”
“Sneaking? Sneaking? Fat Hobbit is always so polite. Smeagol shows them secret way that nobody else could find. And they say sneak! Sneak? Very nice, friend… Oh, yes. My precious. Very nice…”
“Sneaking.”
“Smeagol? No, no, Not poor Smeagol. Smeagol hates nasty elf bread.”
“Look. What’s this? Crumbs on his jacketses. He took it! He took it! I seen him!”
“See? See? He wants it for himself!”
“Naughty little fly, Why does it cry, Caught in a web, Soon to be… eaten!”
“No! No! Master!”
“He’s a horrid, fat Hobbit, who hates Sméagol, and who makes up nasty lies!”
“[narrating] They cursed us. Murderer they called us. They cursed us, and drove us away…”
“[throaty cough; his voice slowly becoming guttural] Gollum… Gollum… Gollum!”
“[narrating cont.; scene shows a balding, pale and rapidly thin Smeagol crying, rocking with sorrow in the rain] And we wept precious… We wept to be so alone…”
“[narrating cont.; Closeup on Smeagol’s mouth, which is full of tooth decay and hunger-induced drool] And all we wished was to catch fish…”
“…So juicy sweet!”
“We soon forgot the taste of bread, the sound of wind in the trees… We even forgot our name…”
“Myyyy… Precious!”
“[Sam has him tethered with the Elven rope] IT BURNS! IT BURNS US! It freezes! Nasty Elves twisted it. TAKE IT OFF US!”
“NO! That would kill us! Kill us! [groans and writhes on the rocks]”
“[gets up, trying to be polite] We be nice to them, if they be nice to us. Take it off us! We swears to do what you wants! We swears…”
“We swears to serve the master of the precious. We’ll swear on… on the precious! Gollum, gollum.”
“Swamp, yes. Yes. Come master, we will take you on safe path through the mist. I found it, I did. A way through the mashes. Orcs don’t use it. Orcs don’t know it. They go around, for miles and miles! Come quickly. Soft and swift as shadows, we must be.”
“All dead. All rotten. Elves, and Men, and Orcses. A great battle long ago… The Dead Marshes. Yes, yes, that is their name! This way. Don’t follow the lights. [Sam slips and almost ends up in the water] Careful now! Or Hobbits go down to join the Dead Ones, and light little candles of their own.”
“[to himself] So bright… so beautiful… my precious…”
“Master should be resting. Master needs to keep up his strength.”
“Mustn’t ask us, not its business. Gollum, gollum.”
“[ignoring him] Cold be heart and hand and bone. Cold be travelers far from home.”
“They do not see what lies ahead, when Sun has faded and Moon is dead!”
“What… what did you call me?”
“My name? My name… [smiles] Sméagol.”
“NO! No, Master! They catch you! They catch you! Don’t take it to him! He wants the precious! Always, he is looking for it! And the precious is wanting to go back to him. But we mustn’t let him have it.”
“No! There’s another way. More secret, a dark way.”
“Because Master did not ask.”
“Yes. There’s a path, and some stairs, and then… a tunnel.”
“Good Sméagol always helps.”
“We wants it, we needs it. Must have the precious. They stole it from us. Sneaky little hobbitses! Wicked, tricksy, false!
[he talks to himself, as if switching personalities]”
“No. Not Master.”
“Yes, precious. False! They will cheat you, hurt you. Lie!”
“Master’s my friend!”
“You don’t have any friends! Nobody likes you!”
“Not listening… I’m not listening…”
“You’re a liar. And a thief.”
“No.”
“[with relish] Murderer!”
“[miserable] Go away.”
“Go away?” [laughs cruelly]”
“[begins to cry] I hate you. I hate you!”
“Where would you be without me?! Gollum! Gollum! I saved us! It was me. We survived because of me!”
“[stops crying] Not anymore.”
“[puzzled] What did you say?”
“Master looks after us now. We don’t need you.”
“What?”
“Leave now, and never come back.”
“[hisses] No!”
“Leave now, and never come back! [Gollum snarls] LEAVE NOW, AND NEVER COME BACK! [Gollum is silent, Sméagol looks around, delighted] We… we told him to go away. And away he goes, Precious! [dances gleefully] Gone, gone, gone! Sméagol is free!”
“[wails miserably] What’s it doing?! Stupid, fat hobbit! You ruins it!”
“What’s “taters”, precious? What’s “taters”, eh?”
“Oh yes, we could! Spoiling nice fish! Give it to us raw, and wriggling! You keep nasty chips!”
“Sméagol… Why does he cry, Sméagol?”
“[sobbing] Cruel men hurts us. Master tricksed us…”
“Of course he did! I told you he was tricksy. I told you he was false.”
“Master is our friend… our friend…”
“Master betrayed us!”
“No, not it’s business! Leave us alone!”
“Filthy little hobbitses, they stole it from us!”
“No… No…”
“Master… Master looks after us. Master wouldn’t hurt us.”
“Master broke his promise!”
“Don’t ask Sméagol. Poor, poor Sméagol…”
“Master betrayed us! Wicked, tricksy, false. We ought to wring his filthy little neck. Kill him! Kill him! Kill them both! And then we takes the precious… and we be the master!”
“The fat hobbit, he knows. Eyes always watching.”
“Then we stabs them out! Put out his eyeses! Make him crawl!”
“Yes! Yes! Yes!”
“Kill them both.”
“Yes! No, no! It’s too risky, it’s too risky.”
“[sly] We could let her do it.”
“Yes… she could do it!”
“Yes, precious, she could. And then we takes it once they’re dead.”
“Once they’re dead…”
“Shhhh…”
“[to Frodo and Sam] Come on, hobbits. Long ways to go yet. Sméagol will show you the way.”
“[sinisterly] Follow me.”
loser
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what a time in our lives to be larping drumpfs for buttjoos jewish buttstuff temple in D.C.