So anons, I almost died on Easter Sunday. But Jesus brought me back! Jesus' dancing girls, to be exact. Let me explain. . .

Sunday morning started off with me realizing I had caught a flu. Stuff started coming out of both ends non-stop, and I felt terrible. I took a hot shower, hoping to feel better, and when I came out and sat down in my recliner, i became very dizzy and had trouble talking. My wife told me I looked terrible and checked my blood pressure, and it was like 80/60, and my pulse was 59. She said I was white as a ghost, sweating, and couldn’t hold my head up, so she called 911 and off I went to the Emergency Room. They checked my heart out and it was okay, so they hooked me up to IV fluids, and after a few hours I started to come back down to earth again. While sitting beside me and waiting for all the tests to come back, my wife turned the TV on, and the live "Jesus Christ Superstar" was on. My wife said she knew the exact moment she was sure that I was going to make it. It was when I lifted my head off the pillow, pointed weakly to the girls dancing in the show's chorus, and said "That one looks like a trannie!"